In my area, when there is conflict between people, and one says “its no big deal” or “have a nice day”, its a way of being dismissive(afterall, why say it to me everytime you post something to me - 4 times in total just in this thread alone, when you hadnt to others in other posts?), like F OFF, but with such sarcastic sweetness the person can claim “what??? I didnt mean anything by it”. I live in southern Ontario, very close to north-eastern states where I assume the same applies, but who knows, maybe it doesnt, in which case I make mistakes like everyone else, and am always glad to have things clarified.
I am very aware how the upcoming holiday season makes things harder and more sensitive for everyone, as well as the dark, wet, cold months make a lot of moods dark, wet and cold. As before, I have no intention of creating any stress for you, or have anyone else create any for me. Hence my very clear boundaries. I treat others with respect, I demand it for myself too, in order to keep offences to a minimum.
I appreciate you both taking the time to clarify your statements, especially since there has been such rancorous communication and ill will between us previously. If for no other reason, its probably even MORE important that we be careful in the language we choose to use so that misunderstandings dont continue to happen.
In the little I’ve read over the last few weeks I understand some of the difficulties, crises and losses both of you have experienced this year, that would make your holidays even more poignant than usual.
Me too.
so peace be with us all.
and PS. EMDR for anyone who is curious, is worth a Google. My particular EMDR therapist’s specialty is working with people who suffer from post traumatic stress; rape victims, Rwandan refugees among others, and I hear it is beneficial for many returning soldiers.
