Surviving Depression

Hi Cee

We have spoken before and its great to see you joning in a bit more...really great!

If you want a success story...I consider myself to be a success story.  I hope that doesnt sound arrogant. What I mean to say is that I have suffered from Major depression and a couple of other disorders for much of my life. However, I have had more "happy times" than depressed times and the more depressive episodes that occur, the easier I find it to "recover", get back on my feet again and subsequently, it can be up to 3-5 years before Little Miss Depression visits me again.

I have been as low as to attempt suicide on more than one occasion and I have been high enough to graduate from university and start a family, who give me more joy than I could have ever imagined. I have many dreams and aspirations and every day I move towards fulfilling these goals, sometimes in leaps, sometimes in baby steps. 

I would never want to diminish anyone elses experience with this disease. I understand that sometimes it can take all our strength just to uncurl ourselves from a ball of emptiness and have a shower.  I believe that medication can be more than helpful - it can save lives.  However, I do not believe that this has to be a life sentence of pain and suffering. I am eternally optimistic that I may never suffer from another depressive 'episode' again BUT if I do...I will be even more prepared to fight and fight to win.

I just want to encourage you to hang in there and dont give into those feelings of hopelessness.  Also, as everyone has previously mentioned, pls lean on us whenever you need to - we are all in the same army :)

Poppy - I am extremely encouraged by what you have written and did not know that you are one of our success stories... can you please p.m. with the details? Seriously... I would love to know everything you have done or tried, the things that were successful, the things that were not... mostly whatever has helped get you to where you are today... I would love to know EVERYTHING... I have been struggling since I was a child/teen, and never found the success you have... please, if you have time, let me know :) Thank you so much!

Poppy…thank you for that!

Cee…And another thought…(boy I have a lot of thoughts today!)…and this one is about outward appearances. When you find yourself thinking that I have this, and this, and therefore I should be gratefull (watch that “should” word!), take a moment to think about some of the famous, outwardly successful people who have suffered with this illness. Just a few days ago sucessfull comedian Richard Jenni committed suicide, after suffering a long time with depression. And Margot Hemmingway. And the one I always think of…David Strickland. At the time he hung himself in a seedy motel he was a young, well known comedian with a beautiful girlfriend, and in the cast of a successful sitcom (“Suddenly Susan” with Brooke Shields). I do not mean to be morbid here…my point is not about suicide, but more about self-judging. No one deserves depression, but all are potential victims of it. So please be kind to yourself and realize that, unfortunately, things you have on the “outside” do not protect you from what you are feeling, and to quote my therapist “this is part of the depression package”. God I’m preaching again, but I just have such strong feelings about this! Please rememeber that depression distorts you feelings…if it didn’t it would be much easier to overcome. It invades your being and seems to take over completely. But, and again I’ve gotta give credit to my therapist…YOU ARE NOT YOUR DEPRESSION, even though at times it seems like that’s all there is…you are still here too. Ok, well talk about rambling!    Sally/ sadkitty

You’d be surprised how many people suffer from depression but are going untreated because they are either in denial or are worried about how other people would see them.  I’m African-American and I can say that in my culture, it’s damn near taboo to say that you’re suffering from depression because after the years of oppression we’ve suffered in the States, we think that theres really no reason for us NOT to be able to handle pain, depression, etc because it’s somewhere in our blood.  So when my friend was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, people called her “crazy” and “weak”.  That’s not the case.  It’s better to understand the fact that you need help even if it’s temporary sometimes.  Do what you have to do to take care of yourself, fuck what anyone else might think.