Have you ever attempted suicide?

Depression
#1

If so, what happened? Why did you feel the need to do it? Would you do it again? What stopped you?

Discuss it here.

I tried it once. I was gonna overdose on Prozac. I called my inurance to make sure that I would die if I overdosed on Prozac. They told me that I would and then they tried to call my house number. I called them on my cell so I guess they had my information in their system. I had hung up once the nurse told me I would die. So I sat there with my pills in front of me. But my mom poked her head through the door and asked me what was wrong. I told her nothing, that I was just counting my pills. She didn’t believe me and took the pills from me.

She called my psychiatrist and took my pills. She started actually giving my pills in a container daily so that I wouldn’t overdose. I’m glad she did it and I’m grateful I guess. I’m still here. I don’t know if I’m that happy but I’m still here.

#2

i think that you are right about that , thats why i have to think before i at a little problem i have cant think first before i act upon something gets me into lots of trouble

#3

BigD…you must have a personal guardian angel. Not Dead…Im glad you are not dead…scuse the pun!

I tried it once. I was a really young and there were a lot of excacerbating factors such as parents divorce, abusive boyfriend, anorexia etc. I cut my wrists and threw myself thru a window. My left hand was severed and I went thru a 7 hour operation to sew it back on…

I would NEVER do it again. The pain on my parents faces when I pulled thru…ouch…I realised what a cowardly and selfish act it is. My life is not perfect but its so worth living.

I think most people do not want to die, they just want the pain to stop. Thats something that can be achieved :slight_smile:

#4

I did a year and a half ago. I figured out how much claritin and antihistamines it would take, and then I took them. The thing I didn’t count on was the loopy weird feeling after taking them and I ended up calling a friend who called the police and then I was taken to the hospital, got my stomach pumped, and then got transferred to the mental hospital.
After seeing my parents after that, I don’t know if I could ever do it again. Almost my entire floor from the dorms came to see me, and I realize how many friends I had. Also, how many friends I lost due to this really sucked.
I have now resigned myself to hoping for a freak accident to occur that would kill me without anyone thinking I caused it.

#5

Yeah, now that I have my lil one the suicide thoughts have subsided somewhat.

#6

Sounds like we’re some failures huh? LOL

I mean that in a good way, you guys. Someone must really want us here.

#7

I attempted it three times did not die of course but one of the times was almost my last it was before I had my son I sliced my arm so wide open that three veins poped and I did this when I was already in the hospital but they got to me and fixed but I still have the scars to proove it and that hurts me when I look at it but I feel now it really was not worth it I went through a lot of pain to fix it because of the popped veins that it was so messed up and I still don’t have the right stregnth in my arm as I use to the other times were pills and had my stomach pumped. And I have to admit and be ashamed that these attempts were all over a man a real peice of work that was once in my life. Sorry he got the satisfaction of all of that and I paid the price.

#8

See, I’m not cutting nothing. Nope.

#9

I only had tried once. I was in the kitchen planning to stab myself because I didn’t think I deserved to have a plainful death, but when I was about to stab myself, something came over me and I stabbed myself in my hand intead. It bleed for hours and I told my parents I cut myself trying to chop up friut. It bleed for a good hour or two until my parents decided to take me to the hospital. I ended up getting stiches. I still have the scar on my left hand. I don’t think I’m ever going to try again either. If something stopped me then, something would stop me now too.

#10

I have thought about it alot, especially a month or so ago, when I was at my lowest point ever…thank God I’m not as bad now as I was then. I got to the point where I was thinking about it in a way that I never had before…really scary! Truly, the only thing that stopped me was my four cats. I could not stand the thought of not knowing what would happen to them…I don’t have anyone who would take them. And what makes this even sadder is that in a way I resented them for standing in my way. I’m getting tears in my eyes now just thinking about that. sadkitty

#11

This morning I had to wake up to take my son to school. I don’t think I got 2 hours of sleep and I was so pissed at my husband for making me take Josh. Well, yesterday it snowed and this morning everything was all ice. I’ve never seen the roads this icy before. Anyway, after I dropped off my son, for no particular reason at all, I started to drive really fast knowing I wouldn’t be able to stop if I tried. I saw the tree I’ve seen a hundred times. Anyway, needless to say since I"m here is that I ended up in a bush. My husband doesn’t know what happened, but he’s mad. I was driving his Jeep Cherokee and it isn’t ours. Phil is a sales mananger at a Jeep store here so he gets to drive a free car.
Anyway, I guess it’s a good thing I swerved and got the bush.

#12

Gosh, you guys are making me so sad. I’m so glad you all are okay. There has to be at least one person out there that would be so miserable if you weren’t on this earth. And now you all have so many more friends!

#13

Dear Friends, I,ve just read these entries and I,m stunned.I,ve contemplated suicide in my thoughts, compulsively so. But I,ve never hurt myself, except with trying to drink myself to death with all my pills. But I always woke up. And I,m glad I never suffered more than an enormous “banger” which slowed future attempts down. I found being of scottish heritage, I have a hollow leg . Even my suicide attemps turn into comedies. I can,t win. So I guess I,m meant to be here to be the class clown. I love you, every one of you that I,ve met on CarePlace. And I cannot imagine the extent of my grief if any of you had suceeded in your attempts. I,ve come to think that we are all valuble and have a purpose.Just share this life with me I need you all , Love, Grandma nubu XOX

#14

Oh Grams…your really are the cutest and funniest :slight_smile:

#15

Gramms,
I truly feel the love from you. Your words are not ‘just words on a screen’.
I love you so much.
Sue

#16

i tried to get help… i voluntarily committed myself to a hospital, told them i was suicidal. they yelled at me and sent me home. i think it was because i didn’t have insurance. my friend was in charge of watching me. they had gone through my room and tried to get anything i might take, use, etcetera. my friend handed me a glass of water which i then proceeded to take downstairs, find every pill they missed (quite a few- this was before i was diagnosed n had the “good” stuff to o.d. on, so it was tylenol n left over meds.) and methodically swallow. she came down about halfway through because i was laughing (i get manic and really low at the same time- it’s the weirdest feeling.) i tried to hide it, but she ferreted me out, called the paramedics, n i was chaptered to a hospital. had to drink charcoal cuz i was still awake n i wouldn’t let them near me (choose stomach pumping- you don’t feel nearly as bad!) seconed hospital tried to kick me out after two days, too. i think about it all the time. i talk with my friends and tell them it wouldn’t be their fault. i make sure they wouldn’t find me. i know it would affect them, but how long can you live a miserable life just for someone else?

#17

i think it was in 2000. i was depressed and in a really bad relationship with a person the used me. i felt very alone and thought nobody loved me. so i started eating less and less. whenever i was awake, all i did was cry.whenever i wasnt crying, i was asleeping. i didnt have the heart to hurt myself. so i thought i would just not eat and dissappear. i hated myself and hated how i looked. i would look in the mirror and see all bones in my body. i think i came close to weighting 89 lbs. dont know how it happen but i got help. i moved out of state to get away from the person i was with. that was the best thing i ever did. it has been 6 years, its coming back again but i am put up a better fight now.

#18

when you feel bad, when it won’t go away,
try to remember when you felt okay.
there had to be a time when things were alright,
when you didn’t have to, put up such a fight,

you’ll feel okay for a second, or even a minute,
don’t be afraid, just try to stay in it,
things will come back- life will come at you
but hold on to the times, when you knew what to do,

there had to be times, caus they got you somewhere
even if you’re not happy,- being right here,
what made you smile?, what made you laugh?,
what made you feel good, is all that you have

you thing that you can’t, figure it out
you think that you have to - find a way out
the only way out - is to find a way in
gotta get back - to where you have been

the good times can come back
thats why were here
the rough times keep coming
its all that we fear

hold on to the littlest, spark that you find
keep it, increase it, leave all else behind
believe that you can, believe it inside
keep on trying, you won’t have to hide

it has to be worth it - its all that we have
do you think that there’s something that were all here for?

#19

not dead this is a good forum i am gld eveyone is still here though life would be losing some beautiful people!! black dog what you wrote was beautifuland very inspiring thank you!!!

#20

Regarding suicide…someone a few posts back said that it’s not the need or want to die, but to escape the pain. It’s difficult for people who aren’t depressed to grasp the enormous deep black hole of pain we feel. I’m struggling with what my doctor calls “suicidal ideations with a plan”, but I think it’s more medication related, I hope. I’ve had thoughts of killing myself for awhile, with a plan, but with the meds, the ideas are just coming at rapid fire. I am just so sick of being sick. I want it all to end, and some days I don’t care how it ends. JUST END IT. I don’t think about those I’ll leave behind, because I’ll be gone and won’t have to deal with it. No guilt no remorse. I am selfish in the way that I want my pain to end. My therapist tried to get me to sign an agreement that I wouldn’t harm myself and I just laughed at her. I told her I’d be dead and wouldn’t care about a piece of paper. Then I laid out the plan for her to poke holes in so I could make sure I did it right. Sneaky, eh? Well, I’m still here and miserable. I’ve convinced myself that God would forgive a mentally sick person of commiting suicide and allow me into Heaven. After all, He does know my heart. With that little problem solved, my “ideations” are getting clearer and clearer.

Wow, went off there for a minute. How do you stop the thoughts? How do I just not go out and stop the pain when the pain is so great you just can’t stand it. I can’t cry anymore.