Hello everyone this is Sherry, aka gimpy bear40, i just wanted to say thank you to all of you for the prayers and kind words. Some of the prayers have already been answered in various ways. As most of you know i suffer from chronic back problems stemming from the birth of my son who was 9lb. 9oz. and as a result of the difficult delivery my tailbone was fractured and my si joint was twisted and turned. Well try finding a caring doctor who believes this can happen. Try fitting something the size of a watermelon through that birth canal and tell me nothing can get out of place. Anyway it has been 10 years of living hell and i had enough of the 24/7 pain knawing at me and going from one doctor to another to another. My medical file here at home is 3 inches thick at least. They don’t want to do any more MRI, x-rays or CT scans for fear of loading me with radiation. Anyway long story short, i went to the emergency room last thursday, May 3rd and they admitted me to control the severe pain. They kept me until Sunday, May 6th. While at the hospital more tests were ran and i was sent to “surgery” and “recovery” for pain block injections which are done under live x-ray Fluoroscopic without sedation. I was released from the hospital with Soma, Tylox Oxycodone, Pamelor and Klonapin in addition to the Cymbalta and Nexium and Xanaflex i already take. Luckily i was alert enough to not take the xanaflex too or i may have turned out like Anna N. Smith did. Two muscle relaxers and 2 antidpresants and an anxiety pill and pain pills sounded a little too much for me. Needless to say when i got home Sunday and followed doctors orders with bedrest and “Pills” , i became a walking pharmaceutical company. My mother and my friend decided to come over and help me because they realize how severe i am now. When they arrived at my door yesterday, Thursday, May 10th, they took one look at me and then each other and started calling all my doctors. They said i was so out of it that i was looking right through them. They took me in to the ER where they gave me 2 seperate shots for the pain. In the meantime, the ER doctors said they have done all that they can and they could see about sending me out somewhere else. Of course i am emotional right now and cried the whole time i was there. As you all may well know by the time our doctors or selves find someone to be referred to it’s a waiting game to get into them and takes too long and i’m hurting and going out of my mine now! Four weeks ago before coming to Careplace i was about to be suicidal. I did not want to die, but knew i could no longer live with this pain. I can take a lot of pain too including abusive ex-husband, but after 10 years of frustration trying to get pain issues resolved i had had it. I even turned to alcohol and i don’t drink. That was a rough night of throwing up and yet still had pain and couldn’t take pain meds. then because i went and put alcohol in my bloodstream. I have numbness and weakness in my left leg, have lost bowel control last week during the night, and sciatica pain. I have 3 bulging discs 2 with tears but not big enough for them to be concerned. I have sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, depression and a few more health ailments. The worse part in all of this is that i have a beautiful daughter who is 16 and my son is now 10. Noah cries everyday and says it’s his fault i’m in so much pain. He is already struggling in school with ADD and they aren’t helping us. My daughter Kendra is struggling with Hashimoto thyroidiitis and they both have Asthma. I wish they could have a “normal” mother. I reassure Noah everyday that he did not ask to be born and that i asked God for a little boy and i got one and he would never ever hurt Noah or myself by causing this suffering.
I cried at the ER because i heard the same old song and dance routine about getting into the pain clinic for more pain block injections, more medication, etc. more physical therapy. I’ve been to about 7 programs of therapy already at weeks at a time. And to the pain clinic at least 4 - 6 times with no permanent relief. My low back especially the left side moves around and clunks and pops and is not right but i cannot get the doctors to listen to me. They say it is just an angry nerve. I also have degenerative disk and facet disease, arthritis of the spine and sacroiliac joint left side and broken tailbone which they could remove but won’t because i’m only 40 too young they say. Well i’m too young to have been in pain from 30 - 40 years old also. I am not able to work any longer, it has put strain on my relationships with children and basically put me in divorce court next.
Because of my friends at Careplace and my children and also because of some signs i have received from God i am not going to quit. I am not going to git rid of this earthly body. It can hurt all it wants! It’s my soul and spirit that i have to heal back up and get back with the living.
I am going to go to the family doctor’s other partner and see what she can offer as far as treatment, pain patch, therapy, surgery, etc. Perhaps it’s the arthritis that is causing the crunching in the joint i do not know but i no one day something is on a scan and the next time it is gone and then some-thing else shows up and you guessed it then it is gone. None of the doctors can agree about anything either and it gets so damn frustrating. So that is where i am now after being released from the hospital stay for 4 days and another er visit. I may be sent to Mayo clinic or to this doctor that specializes with decompression table or the one who helps with si joint dysfunction.
Thanks again for all your prayers and well wishes, i pray for each of you every day and night and although i’m sorry we all suffer in our on individual ways, i’m thankful that our suffering has brought us together here at Careplace or we may have never met and i have made some lifetime friendships here. xoxo Sherry