riverlassie, yes, there ARE angels (people like us here at cp) around…“And there is strength in numbers. When one feels weak you can be sure there is someone that can help you take each step.”
olelady, mine too. when i’m finding it especially hard dealing with life, the tireder i am. i hope you too find more strength soon. thank goodness for coffee! ; ) hugs. …“My fatigue is not physical. It is emotional.”
kaydence, that happens all too often. women give a lot…sometimes too much only to lose themselves…“I ONCE KNEW WHO I WAS ONLY TO FIND THAT I SOMEHOW LOST MYSELF IN THE ROLE OF WIFE AND MOTHER.”
Riverlassie. That was beautiful what you said about a friend being on each arm. Sometimes when I am down and I am reading the threads and someone feels the way I do or offers support through their words I feel as if there is someone at my side helping he stand and keep my balance. My question is, What can we do about it? How do we get better? (That was 2 questions)
lady, i would say, for me: be around positive people, have good, supportive friends - friends who are there for you and make you laugh - and of course, you are also there for them (when able) during their rough times. try to sleep enough, eat healthily, walk in the fresh air. enjoy and appreciate the smallest of treasures - puppy’s breath, that first morning coffee, a letter from a friend… again, laughter is good medicine - rent funny movies, recall amusing stories. keep a dog…or a cat. i could go on. these are just some of the things that work for me (usually). i would love to hear more ideas : ) …“My question is, What can we do about it? How do we get better?”
The Catipillar
There was this catapillar that just loved hanging about enjoying each day . Not bothered by wind nor rain, sun or shade. Life was soooo peaceful that it just wanted to hang about forever and ever. Then slowly it started to notice some changes. At first it thought that it was just imagining that it seemed strangly odd. But as time went one it developed such aches and pains. Each day was sheer torture for this little guy . It pleaded every day for things to be as they were. It was once sooo happy but now nothing seemed right. And this sadden the little catipillar . Then one day it was just sooo tired and weak that it could no long er hold on , so fearfull it just let go of it’s once strong safe branch and started to fall to the ground , praying for it’s Creator to " please save me, catch me , lift me up to the branch I knew so well. Then all of a sudeen it’s body just shuttered and flutter and it felt the wind all about it’s body . and it felt its body so different. It cried and wept " what has become of me, where did I disappear to!’ The all of a sudden it gently landed on a windows ledge. And there it saw the most beautiful butterfly . The sun glistening off its feather like wings. The little catapillar just had to touch that beautiful creature. And as it extended its feelers he realized that it was himself that he was touching. " How could this be, ? Is this truly me? This isn’t what I remember me to be." It was quite shocking to see . But as this butterfly tried its new wings he felt the Creators grace and love . And realized that he/she was never gone, it was just time to change. And so the butterfly accepted the wings that lifted him to the branches and discovered there was a whole tree to explore . And off he soared, and soared with the Son shining on it’s wings…
Hummmmmmm , I entered something in this spot yesterday but it doesn’t seem to be showing here although it does show as posted on my profile page…how weird is that …
Ohhhhhhhh there it is. I’m such a dooo dooo at times, didn’t realize there was multiple pages…DUHHHHH!!!
thank you riverlassie for the caterpillar story. i like that one.
Hi, I am new on here and just learning my way around, I just have to say I can relate to everything everyone has said. The smile on my beautiful daughters faces gets my through to the next day and the" I love you Mom". It can feel like such a lonely place at times. I also am tired constantly, could sleep all night and day(an escape most of the time, ) but have found that making myself not sleep through the day ends up making me feel better, the truth is I can’t escape it, I have to face it!!!
Welcome Janaya! You are right, facing it is the only way–trying to run and hide only makes everything worse.
Thankyou Lindystar!
We all need to give ourselves a pat on the back when we don’t run and hide, it takes great strength facing your biggest fears.
janaya, welcome here : ) it’s nice meeting you.
Thankyou Yellowrock!
Im defintely coming back to this thread as quick as I have a moment to think and share.
Welcome Janaya…we are all so very happy to have you.
To all of you who has answered this thread…don’t you just feel so loved. I thank God we have each other. Just reading every single word that has been written makes me feel so warm and loved. Thank you all for just being you… We have all gone and still going through so much, it’s so nice to know we don’t have to do it alone.
You are SO right, Sammi…
I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD OF DONE WITHOUT CP THESE PAST FEW DAYS AND I STILL NEED YOU GUYS. I WANTED TO RUN AWAY BUT I DIDN’T. THIS JOB THING WITH NO MONEY COMING IN FOR SOMETHING I DIDN’T DO IS ALMOST PUTTING ME OVER THE EDGE. BUT I AM TRYING CAUSE OF MY FRIENDS HELP ON CP.
What's funny is I had to go back to the beginning and read this thread a couple of times, to figure out how it evolved. There is one positive thing about being so sad as to lose self identity. When we look at our situation, and no longer know who we are in relation to it, there is a perfect opportunity to redefine ourselves.
With each day, we gain insight, intuition, experience, and often suffering that ends up being beneficial in the long run.
Therefore, perhaps it's better to realize that we don't know who we are than it is to think we do, and be wrong.
The process that humans go through, which includes episodes of sadness, brings about the requisite experience of being "born again."
It's a good thing to wake up in the morning and ask, "Who am I?" That's because with each awakening we are truly born again. There is no law that says we have to respond to anything the same way we did yesterday.
What I have described above is a cognitive and empirical experience. The spiritual born-again experience occurs when we discover the Light within us. Our ability to interact with, learn and grow from that Light can also increase every day, hence we can be born-again that way as well.
Hugs to all, Aaron
Great message, Spirit!!
Yes the loss of identity through ilnness-of any type is way harder to over come (IMO) than losing a job from which your self image came from. That happened to my dad. Thing is, he had more choices than WE do-still I watched him shrivel up, not knowing howor wanting to create a new one. Lots of things can effect our self “Identity” and most of it happens on the inside! I will say, physical losses are the exception- be it body parts (my boob!) or energy, or abilities to do physical activity - be it work or fun or sex, even!
I went through the biggest ever after my CO poisoning! I was flipped back to the emotions I had at 11-12, and they were UGLY. Why? I LOATHED my fat little shame riddled self, and my brain injury brought that out , somehow.
Also, I was left with other injuries- brain, body, and psychiatric. I am stuck with them. I have new LIMITATIONS. Now, I am missing a breast, going through chemo-MORE limitations! After that is 6 weeks radiation! Did I mention I lost my job last November???
If I have learned only ONE gift (and I’ve learned way more) in recovery, it is that attitude is everything. My thoughts determine my reality, and I can choose to choose every single thought, regardless of how I feel. FEELINGS AREN’T FACTS!!! O-M-G! But that’s how I’ve interpreted them! My entire LEARNED thinking/perception is my greatest challenge and enemy. RETRAINING and CHOOSING ALTERNATIVE THOUGHTS are my only hope. And yes, they DON’T feel right at first-even stupid, maybe. But it is also the way to find a new identity as well!!
I found and bought a book- I will come back to post the title here… on just this subject. Keep in mind that loss of self, loss of identity is common with most all changes(losses or illness) in life. And there is lots of stuff written about it–we are not alone!
P