Situational depression

Depression
#1

How do you deal with situational depression? My job has turned into such a downer! I met with my boss’ boss, the man who hired me and he said that “things will be changing soon”. So how do you deal with the time in between? I was hired as a professional and my immediate supervisor was a friend before I took the job. We were colleagues. She retired in June. :frowning: New boss has never been a supervisor before and does not know how to delegate, just how to “boss”, like in 4th grade! I am not allowed to think for myself. I am being treated like a 9 yr. old.

Please tell me how you deal with a situation that you know will change, but you don’t know when? I need this job, I bought a new car based on the promise that I will have this “permanent” job. And 2 of my 3 children are planning thier weddings!

I thought that money issues had finally become a past issue for us, now I’m back to square one and I don’t want to rely on meds to get me thru the day, and worse, thru the night.

I welcome all answers and suggestions,
Rachel

#2

Rachel, I wish there was an easy answer for this one. I am in a similar situation except it is a colleague, not a boss. The boss claims that they know all about this guys attitude and are planning to get him out. Right now they are building up all the little pieces of evidence to use to get him out. I would suspect that is what your boss is doing…making sure it will stick without legal complications. I certainly wish you the best in this and I hope this boss gets booted soon.

#3

Dear Rachel,
I feel for you in your situation. Work stress can really take over your life, try to concentrate on the happiness created by the upcoming weddings in your family and hold on for the fun and love coming in those events instead of all the waiting you have to do at work for things to change. I will say a prayer for you . May God Bless you in your situation .

#4

If I understand you correctly, your old boss who has retired, worked with you as a colleague, your ideas were valued and frequently used, you felt you had value and merit. In your new position you feel the Boss treats you without respect for your ideas and past recognized value, you feel you serve no purpose any more, and there is no joy in work as it is.??? If I have it kinda right,
I’d say the easiest way is to become friends with the new boss. Through friendship a trust can establish itself that might not in a work relationship. You might find the same working relationship you had previously, as well as a renewed interest in your job.
Sending you many hugs so you’ll have a few to share,
River~

#5

Thank you all.  I don't think that the new boss is trying to get rid of me, she just doesn't want me to help with the best of my ablity.  I have thought of showing her my resume, but I don't think it would help.  I do not have any secretarial skills and I know the alphabet song so I CAN file.  She is using me as a clerk and I was hired to work with parents to help them help their students be successful in school.

She wants me to gather all of the materials and give them to her.  She had some parents at a workshop this morning and was giving them false info about a program that I worked for last year.  I bit my tongue and left the room.

I just need to learn how to be patient without opening my mouth.  Its just so hard!!! 

#6

Rachel, my advice to you would be to wait it out, and listen to your boss’ boss. Good things come to those who wait. It may be a little bit tough right now, but I believe that things will work out for you really soon. Hugs, Lindy

#7

Rachel, I really feel for you. I was in the same place you are now at one time. I was made to feel, by a new supervisor, that I had no idea of what I was doing. My feet hit the floor and I cried. I pulled into the parking lot and I cried. (this was way before my depression journey.)) So I just upped & quit. Which, of course, you can’t do. And after 6 months I went back & there was no stress. Is there any chance you could take a leave of absence with pay? Any chance your dr. could put you on medical leave? I know this may not solve the problem, but maybe some time away, or even part time, and you could re-evalute your situation. And this person might realize that she really DOES need you and your input after all. I hope and pray that you get through this without having to rely on more meds. but you may not. Try not to let it get you to that point. No advice, just empathy and add my hugs to all the rest.

#8

Hi Rachel,

You say this is a person who has never been a supervisor before, and you’ve never worked with her. Did she work in another area before, or did you know her at least a little? Did she receive any “how to be a supervisor” training. She’s probably scared “shi*less” that she won’t be enough of a leader, and is overcompensating.

But, knowing the reason doesn’t help you any, does it?

Perhaps you could schedule some time together so that you two can get to know one another a little better – maybe ask her to have lunch with her so you two can get to know each other. And if you go “out” and leave the workplace, it can be more casual.

Start out by asking about HER. If she came from a different “work group” who did different things, ask her questions about how long she’s worked in the same place, ask her what her job responsibilities were before. Ask her how she’s getting “used to” working with new people, and possibly in a “new area.”

This way she almost HAS to ask about you. That would open the door for you to discuss your past accomplishments. Acknowledge that you both have to adjust to working with different people, and you’re more than willing to “help her” out in any way you can. Let her know what you worked on before – she has NO WAY of knowing your specific skills. Talk about the things you worked on that you think brought out the best in you. Don’t talk about it in the light of what she’s doing wrong, or how she can better do her job.

And be careful of going over her head too many times. She just might perceive that the 2 of you “conspiring” against her. And, if you talk too much to anyone about how the changes aren’t working for you, it can appear you can’t be adjustable in the work place and learn to take change as it comes. There’s only thing you can be sure about – that there will always be changes.

You don’t need to become best friends to have a good working relationship; but you do need mutual respect.

But maybe one or two of these ideas can help. I’ve never worked in a school environment, but i’ve had a lot of experience in working in large financial institutions and have had to learn how to make the “politics” game work for me. I’m considered a "very experienced non-manager, and want to keep it that way.

Once again, writing too much,
peace,
c.