I feel like my depression and I are dancing, we take on step forward and two steps back. I want to finde better ways to cope and get through the bad time because what I currently do just dosnt seem to be working. So far my coping skill is to just live and push on and I think that is as much of a defense as anything. I have decied that I dont like this dance anymore and I want it to change I want … well I am still not sure what I want other then help.
JUSTSUE, THAT IS ME EXACTLY. IT SEEMS LIKE RIGHT NOW ALOT OF US ON CAREPLACE ARE IN THE DOWN MODE. HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW OFTEN WE GO DOWN TOGETHER. IT MUST BE A CYCLE!!!
I sooo get what you are saying Keljo…
Kelly,
I feel the exact same way… like when ever I have a good spell, it is sure to be followed by a really bad spell… and the better the good spell is… the worse the bad spell is. Does that make sense? It’s making me dizzy.
I dont know if I am in a down spell I think that I am some where in the middle and i think that is worse because I dont know what to feel I am kinda confused about me again.
I hate that dance too… A while ago I was thinking, I work really hard everyday to try and feel good about things. I try and exercise and get outside and talk to people and talk things out and reach out and by the end of the day I feel better. But then I go to bed and it starts all over again. It seems like i have to work so hard to feel good and then I wake up feeling bad. i don’t get that. I think somedays I get so tired of the push and the fight, that maybe i start to stay in the depression and it makes me feel worse, because I’ve been there for so long.
But, I find when i do work to feel better, at least I know I’ve done it for that day. I’ve conquered it for at least one more day. So,it stands to follow that I should be able to do it again. you can’t let the beast hang onto you.
Do you guys find that when you make yourself do stuff it helps? Or am I just being silly?
It helps me at the time but then I start to feel bad again and then that never feels like it will go away.
Blackdog, in answer to your question, it does help when I make myself do stuff, even though I'm apprehensive at first. But it has to be something I want to do rather than what I have to do. But sometimes doing something I have to do is helpful, especially when it turns out not as bad as I thought it would.
I really enjoy talking to people Careplace, but I try not to make it my main thing to do. I try to get myself out and about. Even just walking around and smiling at people I pass by, or opening a door for someone gives my life some meaning. Since I tend to NOT practice what I preach, I don't do this nearly as often as I should.
Keljo, I know the same dance steps. One step forward for every two backward. Sometimes I think that feeling nothing (I call it zombyish) is worse than being depressed. I don't like either state of mind but at least I have some sort of feeling when I'm depressed. I recently took a non-scientific 20-30 question personality test to see what type of things I would feel comfortable doing, either as an employee or a volunteer. Then I did a self assesment of myself (at the suggestion of my therapist), and found that I would best fit in an environment where I would be by myself or in a one-on-one situation. Since I like troubleshooting and fixing my own and my relatives computers, I'm going give that a try and see what happens. Maybe I'll volunteer doing it for a school for awhile to see if I'd like to do it long term. As a suggestion, maybe you should do the same thing - try to determine who you are, what you might like to do, and give it a test run without committing yourself long term to it.
I'll let you guys know how it turns out, if you're interested.
Hugs and best wishes to you, Keljo.
John
JOHN, I THINK ZOMBIE IS A VERY COMMONLY USED WORD ON CAREPLACE. I AGREE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT.
Yah I think that zombie is a great word for me today I feel like I am dancing in a circle with the depression and the anxity and the ocd, I am trying to do things to keep myself avtive but it dosnt seem to be working and I keep finding myself in the living room just starting at the wall.
I live in new Jersey and Love meeting new people. Maybe its because we are so close to New York, But there is a very suspicious attitude prevelent here . I smile (I have a warm inviting smile , red hair and freckles,) and am a grandmother of 6 and great-grandmother of one. Not very dangerous looking. I’m sort of round and fluffy and huggable.Not exactly looking like a terrorist. The responses to a smile are odd.
what does she want, is she of my station in life?
is she selling Girl Scout Cookies?
Oh God, I don,t have time for this !
why is she smiling at me?
I hope she’s not lost !
I bet she can’t find her car in the parking lot…
I don,t know her, with attending scowl…
Oh shit, I’ll pretend I didn,t see that !
With chuckles from New Jersey, gramms
I dance alone I think we live in a lonely world without feeling or touch. I don’t
know about you’ but I need a hug.