I hate admitting that i am powerless over something. In some cases i like to have control. I thought by drinking i was taking control of my pain in my own way. But really i was powerless, weak and deff not in control.I was out of control…It is still hard to admit that i am powerless. i may be powerless but i can be in control of my addiction. Today was a good day for me. I have been keeping myself out of situations of temptation.But we all know that it is virtually impossible to always avoid these situations. Today i was put into a place where i did not want to be.I went with a few friends today to what i thought would be a good clean time.We were supposed to go to the mall,do some shopping and then go et a bite to eat.Instead of doing that they drove me to a party on the campus where they live.When i got there i relized what they were there for.I didn’t go inside and sat outside while i called some real friends to come and pick me up. Now i could have gone in there and tempted myself to fall off the path but i didn’t. I told my so called friends"i am a recovering alcoholic and i can’t put myself in these situations." If you can’t respect that then we can’t be friends anymore. If being on the right path requires me to have to give up some of my friends then i am more then happy and willing to do so.I am proud of myself for doing that.Some things you have no control of but this is one thing i will. I will not accpet being powerless in this situation.
~ashley~
well, i glad you got some friends to get you… and that is one lesson i learned in early sobriety… a lot of the “friends” that i got drunk with… they wanted the old me, and they wanted me to get drunk… so i had to leave them on the way… they weren’t my friends… they just used me to validate wtheir own drinking…
Welcome on board bakes! we’re a funky bunch here!
Peace~
dave~
yep
Yes i went to my first one last night. I called around to see where some meetings were and they had one lastnight. I wouldnt think it would be on a weekend.It was a very different experience. I really didn’t talk much. I felt a little out of place but it gave me hope. I was surprised to see that i wasnt the only young person and deff not the only girl. It will deff go to every meeting.
~ashley~
Ashley, Congrats on your first meeting that has just knocked the #$%@ out of your disease! I have a huge smile on my face:):):)
Did you get any phone #s? I am so happy for you.
Dave
Ashley, Again, i am so proud of you! Just a little word of advice, The next few meetings that you go to try to listen to a few woman that have a bit of time under there belts and that sound like they live in the answer instead of the problem, ( your living in the answer!) Ask them about the steps. The only way that I stayed sober is by jumping in with both feet. If you can’t do that don’t worry give it a bit of time. The fact that you have found the hall of A.A. is so huge!
Dave
and ashley… life only gets better… just stick to the middle of the herd… get in with the ones that have some good sobriety… they are the ones that will help ya.
Ashley,
If you think your brain is ‘unfogged’ now, just wait a month or two. That’s when it really clears out! And maybe you will begin to like going to meetings, instead of going to them because you have to (to achieve sobriety). Faces become familiar. You may start laughing more. It gets better and better.
Chip
I honestly can’t wait to see what i am like in a month. each day that goes by with out alcohol is one more day that i see with a clearer mind. I relize things now that i couldn’t have even imagined seeing under the influence. I am for once excited to see what my future holds. That is the first time i have ever said that. Yep you heard me the very first ever. I look forward to waking up in the morning. I truely am excited.I feel like a kid in a candy store who has a million bucks to spend.
~ashley~
Bravo to you! Your kickin’ ass girl! Thank you for sharing your progress with us!
Dave~
When i want something really bad i go at with full force. I kick it right in the ass and don’t look back. I am a determined (but still a little scared) person. I do have fears about how different my life will be but i am not going to let these fears get to me.For so long thats all i did. since ii was 12. i am noe 22. so it’s been a while. But i am going to kick this addictions ass. Thank you for your support and kind words.
~ashley~