Hi.I am new here,but I was just wondering if there is anyone who deals with anxiety in regards to relationships? For me,I have great anxiety towards one person in particular.I have a huge fear of loosing this person who is a really good friend to me,we are best friends actually,and it causes me alot of problems.My anxiety causes me to worry about what this person is doing and with who,and to feel really jealous when he is with other females,even if I am right there. The thing is,I am not in love with this person,although I do love him as a friend.My fear is that he will become closer or maybe better friends with someone else.I dont mind so much if it is another guy,but I hate the thought of him getting close to another female,even if I know the woman and am friends with her myself.It is a horrible thing to deal with. The simplest things will set me off and I begin to panic.I will get to the point where I cry sometimes.I know this isn’t right,or normal,but I dont know how to deal with it. I have told this all to my friend who knows I experience all this and he trys his best to help me,but at times I think it bothers him too because he shouldnt have to guard his actions or feel I am watching is every move eithe. I hate that I am like this and I want to know what I can do,other then drugs which I have tried and had no effect on this,what else can I do to stop myself from getting so panicked over loosing his friendship? He has prooved time and time again to be that he will always be my friend no matter what and I have no reason not to trust him.So why do I go looking for reasons then?Thanks in advance for any help.
have you ever lost a male figure in your life or maybe didn’t get the attention that you needed from someone? Maybe this person is really representative of that person. Its perfectly natural to do this. It doesn’t mean that you are crazy either. maybe you just didn’t get what you needed and now you have made this guy everything to you. Ive done this with people in my life and i know it can be hard to deal with. Once you see this person isn’t going to leave you, you’ll feel more comfortable and you might even make more friends.
Thank you for your reply…I just needed to know that I am going crazy…it does seem that way sometimes. Yes,in my past I do have some father issues…my biological father rejected me and then the man who raised me and I believed to be my father told me the truth that he wasn’t when I was 16 years old.He and my mother were getting divorced because he was having an affair with another woman.Anyway he didn’t want to have to pay child support for me then,so he and my mom were arguing about it and that is how I found out the truth then. I guess it makes some sense…but if this is it,it must be something deep that I can’t control then…I see the damage I sometimes do to our friendship.I just feel like I am so afraid of loosing him that it will ultimately be me who drives him away…and I know this…I just dont know what I can do to stop my feelings from taking over and bringing me so much anxiety at the moment.It is such a struggle and I know a friendship shouldn’t be like that.
Lovely, (I know its noy your name, but I think you are lovely) I went thru the same thing in college. I was told that I “felt so good about life that I was afraid to loose it” What a crock!!! But that was a long time ago and no one had identified anything called anxiety. They just said I had panic attacks. Get over it.
Please find a good counselor or therapist. If you find the right person or group, maybe you can handle it with out meds. For me, it turned out that hormones were all out of wack. When I went back on the pill, I felt much better. I was 20 - 21 at the time. I am 49 and waiting for a hysterectomy right now and WILL NOT go off my hormones!!!
How old are you? Anywhere near perimenopause? Hormones attack our minds as well as the shape (belly) of our bodies.
Please msg me anytime,
Rachel
Love, I agree with Cyndi and Rachel. I, too, have had problems like this and feel my issues are centered around the fact that I was insecure and didn’t receive the love and attention I so desperately desired as a child. That kind of crap lingers in my subconscious all the time and it seems that certains situations and/or people triggers those emotions that are tucked away. Through psychotherapy and the right head meds I have learned to deal with this on a conscious level. Have you been to psychotherapy? 
Thank you to everyone who replied. Yes,I did go to therapy for awhile and was on several types of drugs. One of the drugs they had me on was Risperdal and in some ways it did help me become less obsessive.But still this problem was always there.They did say something about being co-dependant too.and even had him come in for 2 sessions at a point.I was willing for this at the time,but then it seemed that is the point where it seemed they were trying to get him to back away from me in a way and that is when I began to struggle all the harder to pull him in again.He began to follow what the dr wanted and I resisted strongly.That is when I quit.If I feel he is backing away,then I fight that with all I have.It is crazy.I know this is a problem and I try to control it,but there are times where I cant and that is when I loose it.I felt like a zombie when I was on all the drugs,and I really didn’t enjoy my life any better on them then I do without them,so I didn’t see the point in taking them. I dont know…maybe I will go back into therapy again,but my fear is that they will say we shouldnt be friends.
It’s me again.I forgot to mention that I just turned 40 years old,and this has been going on for the last 5-6 years.I did have a complete hysterectomy when I was 32 years old and I also have hypothyroidism,which is the standard reason my family dr uses for any of my complaints.He blames every pain or mood,everything on this. I take synthroid so I would think that would help my mood.I suppose I could be going experiencing some of my symptoms from early menapause though. I don’t take any hormones I will admit.