Bipolar? Help me understand

Hello, I’ve spent alot of time on the NPD forum. I thougt my BF was a Narcissist, the symptoms are similar and he was later diagnosed by a psychologist as being bipolar. We recently broke up after he accused me of cheating, tore up my house and tackled me to the floor. My landlord has banned him from my apartment building. And if he continues to harrass me I will be asked to leave. Can you tell me more about this condition so I can prepare myself?

I would rather hear from people who are going through this then go on a website and read a checklist of symptons.

Also, I helped him get therapy and he started taking Seroquel. He says it helpes him alot WHEN HE TAKES IT.

Hi Dd,

Bipolar is one hell of an illness. I also ‘tore up’ my home and was evicted through a psychotic episode. I just looked up Seroquel, and it is an anti-psychotic…but it will do no good if your BF does not take it. Lithium is usually the first drug to be given, taken correctly it ‘balances’ out your moods. Although an anti-psychotic is often added. It seems to be a common occurence for those of us with bipolar to decide to stop taking meds…we think we are ‘cured’ then often find we are not. Bipolar disorder is a serious brain disorder. I suffer more with the depression side of bipolar and that is hell. I isolate myself and do not want to get dressed or eat or wash. The manic side is at first exciting but often becomes destructive. I would seriously ask yourself “Do I want to stay involved with this?” if you do, be prepared for a ‘roller coaster’ ride…especially if your BF is not med complient. If you decide you really do not want to ‘put up’ with, at times, destructive behaviour…then walk away and feel no guilt. I
have no intention of ever being ‘involved’ with any guy again, because I cannot ‘risk’ seriously disrupting someone else’s life. I still feel immense guilt for seriously disrupting my son’s lifes when we got evicted. Not everyone who is bipolar goes psychotic and I know many biploar ppl lead ‘normal’ lifes. Your BF may or may not ‘trash’ your home again, if he does and you get evicted, what then? You need to think about yourself in all this and think about your quality of life.

Take care


Thanks Anne for your help. This is truly an ugly disease. And I’m sorry to hear about your troubles. Seeing it first hand tore me up inside.

I didnt’ tell the whole story but after he trashed my apartment I had him arrested. It’s been a little over a week since this happened and I decided to press charges today. It was a very hard decision but I think it’s time I stood up for myself. I’m getting off the rollercoaster.

Hi DD,

You have made a very wise choice…I wish you all the best!

Take care


yes- bipolar is a crazy ride- literally. i disagree on the fact that lithium is the first drug of choice- many docs prefer the newer seizure meds which do not take as harsh a toll on the body and constant supervision of stats. it sounds possibly as if the seroquel was given due to the manic episode to calm him down. seroquel can be hard to take- it has heavy sleepy-making side effects, and that horrible head-underwater feeling. it may not be the med he needs (which works best for him.) if you can, encourage him to keep up with the seroquel and ask his doc about alternatives. be patient. many of us would rather feel a little (or a lot, depending on the person) out of control rather than “drugged up”. read “an unquiet mind” by kay redfield-jamison.

DD, Yes bipolar is a horrible illness to deal with on a day to day basis, however, we can if we stay on our meds, and stay in counseling. Finding the right med, however, is some times the most difficult thing to do, but the most vital one of all; as this is what helps us to bring our thoughts under control, and allows the therapist to help us to reason.
Without meds, it is impossible to lead a somewhat normal existence. Lithium is a good med for many people, but not all! its affect on the body can be very damaging as well, and she is right about the seizure meds being a better choice as far as less wear and tear on the body.
Also reading about bipolar and learning to understand the illness helps a lot for our own sanity. My pdoc told me it is one of th easiest mental illnesses to treat! with success. But we who is bipolar, has to take the responsibility to take our meds, communicate with our pdocs, and do the counseling. This helps those that we love the most, as that is whom we seem to take our illness out on the most, and they usually see the worse side of being bipolar.

Dee, loving someone with BP disorder is super hard. I can see where you’re coming from. The question is … do you love him enough to work through it together? If so, educating yourself on BP may help a LOT. There’s a good book about BP called, “Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.” It is a good book that is easy to understand - in laymen terms. He may even need to read it, too.

As for his attack, there is no excuse for that. IMHO, I think his pdoc needs to adjust his meds. It is difficult to get the meds right and it may take some time to get it right. Once his moods are under control, you’ll notice a remarkable improvement in the ‘swings.’ Good luck, prayers for you and him. Take care!