i have recently been having dreams , that my therapist tells me , are normal for people in general , and downright common , for females with bipolar . i do not think i am a lesbian , but i have been having dreams where i am passionately kissing women . it is never anyone , that i know . it is usually a blonde woman , sometimes a redhead . things never go any farther than groping , caressing , and kissing . i wake up , and am very aroused . my boyfriend does not know of my dreams , and is often the beneficiary of my lust . i love him very much , and do not wish to hurt , or leave him , but my eyes often roam over the bodies of women i see . does anyone else feel a similar confusion ?
All the time, Elaine! For years, growing up, I was really worried that I was gay. Absolutely nothing wrong or unnatural about being gay, of course, but for me it was a problem with anxiety. Finally, just recently, I have felt much more comfortable with the fact that I find women attractive (much nicer looking than men), however, I have only had crushes on or fallen in love with men. Wouldn’t matter either way, I would have come to peace with it somehow, but I am confident after many years, that men do the trick for me.
This stuff is never clear cut. Don’t sweat it! They sound like great dreams!
-scubagirl
To: katypeterson@hotmail.com> From: bipolar-cpt6990@lists.careplace.com> Subject: [bipolar] bipolar hyper-sexuality .> Date: Mon, 3 Dec 2007 17:26:03 -0500> >
everyone tells me its normal , but it does prey on my mind . you are right about women being more fun to look at , and the dreams are nice . the flower scented hair , the women’s skin is always warm and soft , not the hard muscle , and coarse skin and hair of men . i think im sleeping with an orangutan sometimes , when i brush against him . i hope i can be as comfortable , and at peace with it as you seem . i love the powerful embrace of my guy , but i feel lost , and full of longing , when i see a girls cute butt .
Elane …
i say you do whatever the hell you want to.! Get on with your bad self. It’s okay to experiment with your desires, dreams or curiosities. It’s actually very common and healthy, and I would say that ‘most’ people ‘think’ about the opposite sex and what it must be like to go there.
Well, guess what? You’ll never know if you don’t allow yourself the opportunity to discover who you really are - deep down inside. Find yourself … live in the moment. Don’t worry about what other people ‘think’ or say. This is YOUR life and you’ll either live it … or leave it. I feel ya, girl. I am truly in tune with your emotions. It’s normal to test the waters and find out whether or not you’ll like and feel comfy with. You’ll know when you got it right.
Anyone can be attracted to the other sex, it doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re feelings are where you want them to be. There’s no one on earth who can feel how ‘you’ feel on the inside but you. Sweet dreams, my friends.
thanks . for the support . im feeling less guilty about my emotions .
Elane,
I agree with bedhead… And being bipolar at times we seem to be very hypersexual… I use to have crazy dreams myself… Only I tend to be one that acts on my feelings in life… I have been bisexual for yrs…
Not that someone would know by looking at me or talking to me… I never force myself on anyone… But I have had a few female friends. And for yrs my hubby had no idea that I was even interested in females…
If you would like to talk just post me… Nothing at all to be a shamed of… And you have nothing to fear from me really!
Diana
elane, first of all i think its great that you can talk about your feelings. you have nothing to feel bad about. feelings just are and we can’t help the way we feel. i think you should explore those feelings and have a better understanding of what it is you want.
i have done some dirty talking with a girl , and i had a lot of fun , but im a chicken , and dont know if i could go all the way . i dont have any doubts about my ability to please a man . i never leave them wanting , but im scared that if i did cross the line , i might be afraid , and be as lively and as fun as a dead fish . i dont know if my ego could stand being bad at sex .
sounds to me like its a little more than just fantasy your wanting. i would put aside your self doughts and go with it. you’ll never know for sure until you have that experience.
Hi,
I can relate to how you feel about being attracted to women as well. I have been attracted to them to, because they have something more to look at then men. I do have a high sex drive, due to the bipolar and now some other issues that have arisen.
However, I choose to remain hetrosexual for many reasons. I love my husband very much! He is my life! I would never want to hurt him for any thing. and that would be one way to hurt him. Right now, my problem is “no sex” at all; as my husband has no testosterone, and has caused him to loose his sex drive and the ability to “get it up.” But I know I’m not suffering alone, because we have always had a healthy sex life. (until about 5 years ago.)He is quite depressed. He’s going to the VA this week to start a program of treatment. Hopefully in the ensuing months we won’t have a problem. But yes, I do know where you are coming from. I too, have always felt guilty for being attracted to women, but I also know I love my man! So you need to balance it out in your mind.