Subject:
Message: NEW JOKES ON:
HUMOR IS GOOD MEDICINE
ANIMAL LOVERS UNITED
GOLDEN AGE /HUMOR ENCOURAGED
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH, GRAMMS AKA GRANDMA NUBU
I WILL JOIN THANKS FOR THE INFO
Q: What did the saggy breast say to the other saggy breast?
A: “We better get our act together or they’re going to think were nuts!”
Oh my gosh. Gramms that is toooooo funny. Keep em rolling. 
~ashley~
Headstones A Husband and wife have a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever " “Yeah?” she replies. "When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last”
Are You Crazy?
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criterion which defines a patient to be institutionalised.
“Well” said the Director “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub”.
OK, here’s your test:
- Would you use the teaspoon?
- Would you use the teacup?
- Would you use the bucket?
“Oh, I understand” said the visitor “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or teacup”.
“No” said the Director, “a normal person would pull the plug! Do you want a room with or without a view?”
Viagra - In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is also called amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course, ibepokin.
The Lucky frog (Added On: 2001-01-09 Rating : 3.55 / 5.00 Rate This Joke)
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit.9 Iron"
The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. “Ribbit. 9 Iron.” He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! he hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog, “Wow that’s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?” The frog replies “Ribbit. Lucky frog.” The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. “What do you think frog?” the man asks. “Ribbit. 3 wood.” The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn’t know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, “OK where to next?” The frog reply, “Ribbit. Las Vegas.” They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, “OK frog, now what?” The frog says, “Ribbit. Roulette.” Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks,“What do you think I should bet?” The frog replies, “Ribbit.$3000, black 6.” Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, “Frog, I don’t know how to repay you. You’ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful.” The frog replies, “Ribbit, Kiss Me.” He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
“And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room.”
GRAMMS - you are too funny! I’m laughing so hard right now! I like the saggy breasts one best!
Katie
A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup. She asked, “Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?” Her grandson replied, “You know grandma, it’s like on TV… ’ The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.’”