I find myself having a lot of compassion for “cutters” as their state of mind has to be very difficult to deal with. I always thought the cutting came from a depression that you wanted to cut out, or get rid of, the pain that was inside of you, and it is so painful that you can’t stand the pain, so you cut so you can think of that pain instead of what is inside.
I have a niece that is a cutter. When she started, it was just to belong to a group of teens at her school; but later it was discovered (through counseling) that she was very depressed. So they put her on a medication (Trazadone), and when she takes her medication, she is happier and doesn’t cut. She is a very intelligent young lady, and has so many options in her young life that could really benefit her self esteem. (very good at drawing and in her art class; also sings VERY WELL!) But she is going the other way, with the Gothic look; black every thing, and some of the other stuff she is focused on is “death.” So can it be both or either of the depression and mania, but they didn’t diagnose her with bipolar illness, just severe depression.
i never realized what i was doing was self-injury until i looked at my wrists about a year ago. they’re covered in scar tissue. i used to pick with my fingernails, then rub until i got a blister i could peel, then graduated to razor blades. i don’t even remember when it started, or if it was to release emotional pain, but now it’s a compulsion, sort of a learned behavior. stupid pavlov and his dogs…that’s how i feel about it sometimes.
the compulsion has never gone away for me, but i’m better at controlling it. sometimes i have to leave the house, even at 3 am, just to get away from the razor blades. with time, it fades, and i can go back home. i don’t have any real therapeutic answers, i can only tell you what works for me, and the only thing is staying away from anything i can use to cut myself and distracting myself. i still slip up now and then, especially under times of extreme stress, but at least i realize what i’m doing and am trying to stop.
good luck.
Hi I am new to Careplace. I have been cutting since I was 12 yrs old and diagnosed with Bi Polar at age 10. I have an array of other mental disorders and physical conditions…however, cutting is probably the number 1 thing I wish I could rid of. I hope to meet more people on here who have to live each day with this disorder. Keep in touch and hope to hear from ya’all soon.
Britt
RSDcowgirl
Here I am reading all your responses and yet I wonder if it ever stops or do we just find another outlet for the pain we wish to release? For me I guess you could say I've been a cutter since I was 13 and to this day 30 years later I still have symptoms of cutting. I was finally lucky enough to find a great counselor seven years ago who has helped me to dig deep to what brought me to cut in the first place. However, just when I thought I was ready to stop I was told all the picking and ripping of the flesh on my feet was another way of "cutting" I was so ashamed have yet to find a way to stop other than numbing myself with a whole lot of liquor. Each and every time I get "that" feeling in me I either atack my feet or drink myself to sleep. I know I need to go back to counseling or at least find someone I can confide in.
So with that I have to offer anyone who wishes to listen to take the time and LISTEN to the loved one you feel is troubled. If they are a cutter and all of a sudden seem to stop question what other outlet are they using? I hate to be a downer but I do know that anyone with bipolar and has been known to be a cutter is bound to find another outlet.
However, on a positive note I know many individuals who try to fit in with others and as a result follow in suit only to stop cutting once they realize what is being done isn't normal. The goth look is similar to cutting many get into it in an effort to fit in - only to realize sometimes many many years later that it was just a phase.
The moral is to listen to your heart. If a loved one seems to be in trouble act on it no matter what.