Dad just diagnosed, HELP!

My 51 year old Dad was just diagnosed with bladder cancer that has metastasized into the the lower lobes of both lungs a few days ago and I’m really worried and I want to know what I can expect!

The Oncologist who is treating him will start Chemo next week. What questions should we be asking? I know time is of the essence and I want to make sure we do everything right. I did ask the Dr. if this will ever go into remission and he said “it can”…but he is being really vague. How bad is this??? Will it ever go into remission, honestly?

Thanks in advance for all of your help and God Bless!

Jamie

Yes–there is a chance that it will go into remission, but generally this
doesn’t happen. The outlook for someone with distant BLCA mets, especially
in the lungs, is not very promising. If I were in your position, I’d ask
the Dr. straight-out if the benefits of chemo will truly outweigh the
significant discomfort of the side-effects. If not, then I’d opt out of the
chemo. If the doctor is confident that there is a good chance for
improvement, then it might be worth it to endure them. Either way, now is
the time to establish an open and honest relationship with this doctor.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jamie829 [mailto:bladder-cancer-cpt7363@lists.careplace.com]
Sent: Saturday, January 05, 2008 6:30 PM
To: crilly@dcn.org
Subject: [bladder-cancer] Dad just diagnosed, HELP!

I would do some research at the American Cancer site, pull up Bladder cancer and see if you can find it in advanced symptoms and treatments. Read so that you can be exact with the dr and know what to ask. Did your father have blood in his urine as a first symptom? And did he think he could treat it by ignoring it? Thats what my husband did…ignore the symptoms of blood in urine for 10 mos. We were lucky in that once diagnosed it stayed within bladder wall and he opted to remove bladder as it was a way out of the cancer invading his body elsewhere at that time. Just read, read. It helps to be down to earth with the dr. Our urologist didnt “tell” us much and we did work o our own to read whatever I could find for my husband. I wish you the best…just dont rely on drs to tell you all, research all you can, internet is great for the cancer sites on bladder cancer. Look up the 4 stages of it and read…Charlene

I am sorry to hear about your dad, and sorry to say I agree here. Quality
of life its whats important, unless doctor feels good about the cancer going
into remission. The cancer has left the walls of the bladder to the lungs,
this is scary I know, I lost my dad to this ugly disease, and husband has
bladder cancer. Enjoy your father and do your best to have him enjoy his life!
God Bless you both

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Jamie, everyone would like to tell you that there is hope for remission after the cancer cells get through the bladder wall. Let me give you my case. I was diagnosed in 2000 with bladder cancer. The urologist did not feel that the cancer had gotten through the bladder wall prior to surgery. Since I had a fast growing cancer and scraping the inside of the bladder did not work, he decided to remove it.

I had radical surgery. That means that everything down there was removed. When they examined the lymph nodes that they removed from the groin, they did find a few cancer cells. The big question now was 'where else did the cancer cells travel to in my body?

I had massive chemotherapy, I was 62 years old. I had a terrible time with the chemo. Sick all the time for over 4 months. I vowed that I would never have chemo. again.

Today, with all the test that I am taking since the chemo. ended, I am not showing any signs of any new cancer. My Oncologist does not want to see me anymore. I just have yearly test and scans from my Urologist.

My Oncologist would not say that I was in remission nor cured but did say that I was one of the fortunate people who is surviving.

Talk to the Doctors that are looking after your father. Be very, very blunt with them regarding your questions. You might not like the answers you receive but at least you will KNOW.

Would I go through chemo. again if my cancer comes back? Yes, I would go through another 4 -6 months of hell IF and only IF the chemo. would give me a reasonable extension of time. I personally would want another 1 - 2 years. It took me about 8 months to get back to normal after my first chemo. treatment. Another big factor for me would be the state of my overall health at the time they wanted me to do more chemo.

Yes, there is hope in fighting this disease. I asked the man upstairs for another 5 years when I found out that the cancer had gotten outside my bladder and chemo. was advised. He has given me 7 years so far. Six and one half of those years have been fantastic.

If you have the time, I have a blog outlining my fight with bladder cancer since diagnosed in 2000. Take a read.

http://www.mybladdercancersite.com

My very best to your father, to you and the rest of your family. Tell your Dad to fight, fight and never give up.

Neil MacDonald