hiya Millie…thanks so much for your courage in sharing and in your kind supportive words~unfortunately, there are some unhealthy people everywhere, but when they are rude and dishonest they might just be buying into some false belief systems based on rubbish…anyhow, this forum is safe thanks to a great site admin. and some extraordinary moderation, which must be a difficult position~nevertheless…you’re fortunate to have a psychologist who is trained in recognizing narcissism and is giving you some great advice…I choose to ignore the disordered that i don’t know personally and focus upon the former friends, family and significant others that i’ve had to implement no contact with in order to maintain my sanity as well~it’s not easy and i wish that it were so, but in time you may find that the pain lessens as it has for me…
Dear Porphyria, Thanks for your kind responses its almost gotten to the point I feel like some of the members on this site forget why we are all here, to talk about our experiences dealing with the narcisissts in our lives and getting others in put with explaining their experiences dealing with them. I hope but I’m pretty sure I have made some enemys on this site over a comment wrote to me by someone I have never even talked to on here but she must have had me confused with another unwanted member who used to be on this site and I am definitely NOT her and she continued to go on with her comment and half the time I couldn’t even understand a word she was saying other than the fact she was trying to give me a bad time saying something to the effect my pic looked just like her and alot of negative things I definitely knew nothing about what she was trying to tell me other than the fact she was slandering me and I wrote her back a not so nice comment and have gotten chewed out by a few other members on this site over it.
Oh well, hopefully I can continue with this site because its members like you who I prefer to communicate with because it sounds like you are here for the same reasons I am, and thankyou for that!! I’ll try and keep in touch but at this moment I have to run to the store, it is my husbands b-day tomorrow and have to get him a cake and things…take care…Milly
that’s very true Millie~i’m not here to attack anyone, to justify anything or to engage in any of the current conflict…i also can’t afford to lose sight of the reason why i’m here and that is to exchange ideas about how to heal from the effects of people with NPD in my life, in a supportive exchange of ideas…you seem like a real gem and thanks again for your kindness~i hope that your husband has a great birthday~he’s very lucky to have you…
Im shocked to see people fighting on here. From what I believe about the internet and groups FLAMING is NOT allowed. I dont know who Nic got Milly mixed up with but Nic had NO RIGHT to FLAME on Milly the way she did. These are supposed to be safe venues to vent… not be attacked. And Mamolie if someone is new to a group and doesnt know the hen house gossip it does not mean that they do not have the right to be offended by attacks. My favorite quote “I resign from your club. I would hate to belong to a club that would have me as a member”. I do not like cliques and hen houses as they always seem to be full of narcissists and those who attack and judge me. That is exactly what happened here. Nic was wrong to attack Milly, and Milly should not have responded but the emotionaly mind will defend itself when attacked especially when we are so used to being shamed and attacked by the N in our lives.
It really hurts my feelings that this kind of clique is going on here. I dont know why Mamolie and Nic are attacking people but it is not okay. It is very junior high.
Milly and I are not on this support group to listen to petty arguments and be attacked by a clique of mean girls. I dont need to know about your past arguments and who was able to triangulate and get the most people on your side. This is narcissist behavior!!!
Im at a loss for words here. As usual something that is supposed to be a safe place for healing instead becomes a good ol boys network and mean girls clique.
We need to come together here and feel empathy for each other. Flaming is not okay. We need to support and hand hold each other not attack and exclude.
I just don’t see how three people could all be acting upon the same mistake. Nic is obviously right in her observation, and I think its great that she didn’t take the bait.
I also find it somebody would praise the “almighty moderator” when they were clearly unhappy with being removed in the past. Thats an empty compliment that isn’t deserved. I find it odd that people would incite fights and try to turn the attention and blame to the moderator. I think its clear that there are people who want to create chaos and those who want support. I’d have to agree that the best action is to remove those who don’t and let those of us who do talk in peace.
I’ve in a sticky situation myself, and I’m confused and lost. I need input and answers more than anything else. My reasons for not speaking up have nothing to do with moderator and everything to do with the people here.
I SMELL RATS!