I just can not take the sadness anymore, the unhappy feelings and thoughts of death go away for a few days or if I am lucky a few weeks. I have been feeling a little better and I was starting to get out of the house and helping my daughters class and hoping that it may be a good time for me. Again in my life I am so sad that holing back tears is even difficult and sleep is somthing that I have not seen in it seems like months my thoughts are not clear and I can not concentrate. The other bad thing that comes along with all of these other feelings is mistrust and parinoia and anxity, I feel like everything is against me in my life because I can noe even manage to get through a month with out this. I want to sleep that is all that I want to do and I know that will not happen I want to scream so loud that all of the bad feelings just go away. I want to cut and scratch myself until I feel my pain and I can just watch it roll away.
GOODMORNING KELI,I HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER THIS MORNING. PLEASE POST US AS SOON AS YOU CAN,SO WE KNOW HOW YOUR NIGHT WENT. HUGS SAMMI
I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU. I WAS LIKE THAT LAST WEEK. MAYBE YOUR DOC SHOULD CHANGE YOUR MEDS. YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER ALL OF US FEEL THIS, BUY IT WILL PASS. WE WILL NEVER REALLY KICK THIS STUPID THING CALLED DEPRESSION. BUT REMEMBER IT WILL PASS. WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU. IF WE HAVE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT WITH YOU, THEN WE DO THAT. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK. YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL FRIEND TO SO MANY OF US. EVEN THOUGH YOU FEEL ALONE, WE ARE RIGHT HERE WITH YOU. WE ARE FAMILY…LOVE YOU …SAMMI~
I think I know how terrible you feel. I really think you should give a heads up to your doctor. You’re really not suppose to live that way, and what about your child? I assume you’re on meds, maybe you need an adjustment. Are you in therapy? You really sound miserable, please try to get someone to help you. You can post me any time.
I see my doc on Monday but I know what I am going to hear, "Kelly we cant change your meds just because you have a few bad days" I hate doctors and pills and myself. My husband is a step away from calling the hospital to see if they have rooms avaible.
KELLI, I THINK AT ONE TIME WE HAVE FELT THAT WAY OR CLOSE TO IT. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED GOING TO THE HOSPITAL? MAYBE IT WOULD BE FOR THE BEST RIGHT NOW. THOUGHTS OF WANTING TO CUT AND HURT YOURSSELF SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN LIGHTLY.
Kelly,
My heart aches so much for you. I really agree with Kaydence. If you are thinking - or doing - cutting, then perhaps your husband has the right idea. If you do go the hospital, they will help figure out your meds, you'll get some talk therapy and a break away from your family. You don't want your kids to see you like this... you can tell them you're going to visit some friends for a few days. I think that is a good idea, I really do.
Is it a shrink who gives you your meds or your family doctor, like me? If it's your family doctor, what you are needing may be out of his scope of knowledge. I know my doctor has told me he's felt that way several times and is always urging me to see a shrink - which I"m going to start when we get our insurance.
Anyway, you know where I am if you need me. Please write and keep me posted how you are... you know I'll worry about you. I love you!!!!
I do see a shrink my family doc could never deal with me.
So for todayI just want to survive I guess
kelly,
i'm so sorry you are having such a hard time right now! I can relate to the feelings of life spinning out of control...you've had a lot to deal with, and i really respect you and how you've made it this far!
I'm here for you if you need anything...i'll post you privately too...
I'm just going to say again what Kd and Sue said...if you really are having those thoughts, please please seek help! Your children need you to be well for them but most importantly for you!!!
heather
It took a while but I got about 3 hrs of sleep and I am tring to see how my day is going to go.
JUST TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. I HOPE TODAY IS BETTER…
My heart goes out to you. Try looking back to things that made you happy before and concentrate on them, wether it be a hobby your kids, your husband or just a place. I can sympathise but no one really can tell you the cure, just remember your family needs you there. If inpatient treatment might help by god go for it. Don’t let the days waste away!! There’s life out there and a place for you in it. I know you don’t know me from adam but thought I’d write. Have a happy day!!! RED
Kelly,
We are always here if you're in need. I'm glad to see today is going better. Like Sammi said... one day at a time. Hopefully you'll get that much needed sleep and tomorrow will be smooth too.
I'll be thinking about you...
love you,
Sue
I know those horrible feelings of sadness & despair, but you are here at careplace because you are a survivor!! I hope getting some sleep helped!! Please consider me another person who cares about you! Hugs!!
Well today dosnt seem to be going much better I am pushing my way through the day and keeping myself busy with the kids. My husband has put all the sharps up since I am feeling the way that I do. I am just hoping that I can get a little more sleep tonight if not then it looks like I will be buggin out again. I just want to say thank you to all who have reached out to give me words of support they do mean so much.
I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU PAIN FOR I HAVE BEEN THER
I AM SO SORRY YOU FELL SO BAD I WAS THERE THIS PAST WEEK SEE YOU DOC I HAD TO YELL AND SCREAM TO ALL MY DOCS TO GET THEM ALL ON THE SAME PAGE IT WORKED NEW MED AND A LOT MORE KEEP POSTING HERE WE ALL UNDERSTAND AND WITH ALL THAT IT KEEPED ME HERE ONE DAY AT A TIME ORIF YOU HAVE TO I MINUTE OR SECOND HANG IN THERE BIG HUGS
MIKEE