How do you handle depression?
unfortunately I am not the one to ask right now… I feel like I am at my lowest that I have been at for 2 years… I am right now working through it. I have made an appointment with my doctor. I do go to therapy which it really does help me. Right now I feel like its me against the world. It seems like I can never make anyone happy, which I should be trying to make myself happy. When you hit rock bottom, its the hardest to get yourself back up. But you just have to believe that you will get back up. Recognize the good things in your life instead of the negative. I know its hard I am fighting that battle right now… I guess I lose a lot of of it when I get rejected by a man? and I
dont know why and they wont tell me. I’m sorry that I am going on and on… I guess the best thing to do is to keep yourself busy and dont isolate. I think that isolating the worst thing to do because its a great escape and one that you feel safe in. Keep living your life like its a new day and eventually it will feel like a good day…
-----Original Message-----
From: Ridia anxiety-cpt5099@lists.careplace.com
To: tuc9770@aim.com
Sent: Sat, 7 Jul 2007 4:30 pm
Subject: [anxiety] Depression
I know for me I pray a LOT.
Hi Ridia,
I wanted to reply even though it´s been a long time since you posted this question.
I have been depressed since as way back I can remember, I think it is in my way of perceiving things - I tend to look at the negative sides of things. I accepted that I was this way and went through the rainy days knowing my state of mind was responsible for these feelings. However a time ago, been 5 years now I decided to take medicine against depression and anxiety, an SSRI - Paroxetine, and this after a friend of mine told me her secret that she had been taking SSRI since she was 13. After hearing her story, I felt tempted to try this medication - wondering if it would do me good. I did not think it would, but I was mistaken. It did. I began with the lower dose and gradually work my way up - the doctor did not think I should go higher, but I went as high up as 40 mg per day - although there are much higher doses than that to take if one needs. Then came the side effects, I gained weight but though “who cares?, as long as the depression is gone”. I felt relaxed, almost drugged. Relaxed in a sence that my muscles/ body and mind were calm. The real side effects to me, was that I felt sluggish and tired and this had an impact on my work life. Although I fought the drowsiness, I couldn´t be as effective and active as before. This was the reason to me stop taking the medications. Since then, although I accepted my normal depressive state of mind, I sought for other ways to step out of my depressive state. I sought spiritual ways; meditation, fasting, praying, reading at forums, watching documentaries and youtube clips. Basically spending a lot of time in this issue. I read scientifical reports and magazines. I feel now that the state I am in now is wearing me down again, in that that it effects my energy and productivity. I am wondering if I should start with medications again, even though i am not keen on meds overall - maybe just settle for 20mg this time around. I am also thinking about taking a course in Cognitive behavorial therapy, WHICH I then at the time when I started with the SSRI was offered but declined. I have read about MCT: metacognitive therapy which seem to work even better than CBT.
When I am down, i call my sister or close family. My sister is the only one I really an open up to and tell her exactly how I feel and what i experience in my anxiety/ depression, I never told or tell my parents about my depressive mood, although they are very aware of it. I do not want to hurt their feelings or make them sad plus I basically think that there is nothing they can say that benefits me. My parents often tell me to be grateful, so I feel ungrateful and spoiled in front of them.
I used to take long walks, during my paroxetine-era and found this to be helpful. I took those walks with my mother, so she took the time to tell me how i should be grateful for what i have and not complain. In the end, we walked for 2 years 2-4 days a week for 1-2 hours and then i gave up. Not wanting to walk more since what my mother told me only made me feel worse. And then I eventually quit all together. My mother was my motivation to stick to my walks, since she has diabetes I felt complied to stick to the walks for her sake and mine. But I really think that strenous exercise can make one feel better. When I was younger, I did a lot of things for myself - I swam 3 times a week, I ran in the park - and i was so eager that i even ran in the wintertime although rain, wind and snow. I think a certain will is lacking from my side to handle my depression better. I am now, after a period of non-pursuit, looking for ways to handle it better again.
Thanks for reading, feel free to reply!