When I think about suicide I also think about the things I have not done and the places I have not seen. I come to the conclusion that I would rather risk my life in a daring adventure rather than attempt suicide.
My most recent “adventure” was taking my 20’ sailboat (about the size of a volkswagon bus) on a year long trip alone over the north pole on May 2007, most everyone thought I was crazy but I was quite sane. If I succeeded it was one more accomplishment I could look back on with happiness, if not I would most likely end up dead or injured. The trip failed as my electrical system shorted and my rigging was wearing out (hurricane force winds, If you saw the perfect storm movie it was about the same) two weeks into the trip, I ended up coming back. The boat is now waiting on a trailer for me to find another job fix her up and try again.
However when I am alone on a boat I am so perfectly relaxed and at peace I could never commit suicide, so I spend all of my “civilized” days working and making money trying to return to that special place. You can see the boat on captinkid.com, I think I still have some pictures there.
Pictures
http://tinyurl.com/ytlprq
My entire life has become a chain of these adventures/suicides (~12 so far, five or so on boats/in the water) I have felt incredibly lucky as I should have died on at least five of those, usually I just ended up sick for a few weeks after each one. Dehydration, fever, etc. (If any are interested I could list each of them and their dates and specifics)
Is it suicide if I put myself in a dangerous situation?
My next trip is planned in three weeks to take a 15lb backpack and start up the pacific crest trail until I decide to come back. (I will probably wuss out when I run out of food)
---- Back to the original question.
“Do U think this is just because, suicide is seen as a horrible thing
in our society?”
People are afraid of death, and seeing a death/suicide reminds them that they too will die someday. Also your family members may suffer because of it, this is probably the biggie of why I don’t “do it”
“Or do U think these people really believe that life is
worth living ‘this way’?”
I can’t speak for others but I want to try and live this life, as it is the only one I have. I just keep finding things that interest me and places I want to see. I just will avoid people as much as possible along the way. I would like to “end it” but I would rather use up the fun options of life first.
“Do U think that people are just afraid of the other side? or do U think they really have hope??”
I know that there is something else after this life, because if there is not you would not know anyway :-). So have hope in the future as there is no reason not to.
Is it that suicide is just too disturbing a concept? Or do people
really believe that, after failing again and again, there is actually
some way to obtain relief.
I know relief will come eventually, it is only a matter of time. I am already 25 if I live to the average age I will be 70 in 2057. I only have a few billion seconds left and most of that will be spent sleeping and working (hopefully) I really would hate to waste what little time I have left by committing suicide.
And lastly, if it was determined once and for all that there really
is no relief, would these Optimists still try to deter people from
ending their suffering?
Think of doctor Kavorkian. He helped terminally ill patients in great pain to kill themselves. I THINK THIS SHOULD BE ALLOWED!!! If a dog is in great pain we do the humane thing and put them to sleep, why do not do this noble deed for other humans? He was just let out of prison on the terms that he does not continue his work.
---- From my christian past
I was raised a christian and from my (limited) research I have determined that suicide is not automatically a sin, and you can be forgiven of it. I am not an active christian at this time as it seems to repeat the problems of most other religions, and I do not see it as superior. I have not found one that seems “correct”. However I know from physics that something had to make or build the material that makes up the universe as it could not just appear out of nothing as some would have me believe.
I don’t feel that there is anything wrong with suicide, it is up to the individual to determine what their need are.
---- Are we there yet?
My best advice, if you feel like suicide do not rush it! You can just as easily do it tomorrow or a week from now, and you just might gain another happy memory in the meantime.
Or as a final last end finito resort try my adventure suicide method, you have a small-moderate risk of death and a risk of finding something new or exciting about the world. Try something you always wanted to try but were afraid/not sure about, after all when you are dead you will not get another chance!
Suggestions for adventure suicide:
Travel somewhere you would not normally go. Spin a globe, close your eyes and poke a random spot. AND GO THERE! By boat, air or on foot if necessary.
Skydiving!
Scuba diving!
Hiking!
http://www.doctordanger.com/
Or anything else that sounds fun, because you won’t have a chance to do them after suicide! (Depends on your belief system)
Ack, and egad. way too much writing 
Take care,
Matt
