I haven’t cried in so long and here I am crying like a mad woman. I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I can’t leave my house and when I do I come home as quick as possible. I’ve contemplated suicide so many times in my head, but my children and husband keep me from following through with the thoughts. I’ve been off medication for several months and just went back to the doctor yesterday to get back on them because I got my insurance back because I lost yet another job. I feel like a loser who can’t help support her own family, yet I won’t even get off my butt and try. I decided today to find a place to find people that I could talk to that might be like me that won’t judge me because I don’t have anyone to talk to IRL, so this is it.
Hang in there. You are not alone. I’m a lot like you in hating to leave my house. I haven’t had a job in 5 years. I was supposed to go back after my son started school but I’m having a hard time finding anything. The few things I have tried for don’t work out for me. I feel like a giant loser too. Especially when I can’t buy my husband a gift without asking him for the money to do it!
All my friends have gone away. None of them understood what I go through. It’s tough! I know. Hopefully, you’ll start feeling better being back on meds. I learned the hard way a few years ago that I have to be on something at all times…that’s hard to accept, that I’ll need to be on this stuff for the rest of my life.
Message me if you ever need to talk…I’ll always listen to you. You have a friend now and I promise to never judge you or make you feel bad for having the feelings you do.
SueWhp
Thank you, It’s true, none of my friends even know about me being bipolar, even my best friend since middle school, I hide it pretty well. They have lives and famlies of their own so I think they just assume I do the same things they do. Thanks again for your support :o)
Hi, yes you do have people here who won’t judge you…but just be a friend. I don’t have bi-polar but my son does and I am trying to understand. I am here if you just want to vent and have someone listen OK? Mindy
I don’t know you, but you don’t sound anything like a loser (because you lost your job). You sound like a very busy mom! I have three children, I’m not bipolar but my husband is. Having children is tiring and lonely for anyone and I commend you for hanging in there and doing the best that you can. It seems as though there are a lot of nice and supportive people here. Just know that you are not alone, and that in your children’s eyes you truly are their hero.They have a wonderful ability to love unconditionally isn’t that great?. Take care OK? Shawna