I don’t post but read everyone’s posts daily. I am lucky and grateful that I don’t have chronic, just had a real bad acute for the first time in January. I was 4 months pregnant and lost the baby. Today was my due date, and I’m, well, a mess. I spent the day with my 2 year old and just was trying to make it through. He’s asleep now, and I can lose it, you know. I live in this neighborhood full of pregnant moms or new babies, and it’s hard to even talk to them these days. I don’t know why I’m writing, just needed to tell someone. Am looking forward to a new day tomorrow. Peace and love to all.
Kim
Kim, I am so sorry. Such a huge loss to experience as a result of the pancreatitis. You are in my prayers. Betsy
Hi Kim,
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I know it is very hard not to have the baby on your due date. I know how you feel because I went through hard time when I was pregnant with my little girl. I had attacks, started contractions, they put me on magnesium sulphate,(it’s like you are literally on the bed of burning), ended up on bed rest, scared about the baby all the time thinking what if she gets it - even though I don’t have hereditary Pancreatitis, I was on brethen pump, I had gestational diabetes, taking insulin whenever I eat, I was scared to eat but the doctors told me if you don’t eat you’ll have a very small which becomes so hard to take care so you have to eat. I did everything they said. Because of my pregnancy they couldn’t do any tests, procedures or put me on any medication, except on enzymes I developed stones in Pancreas, I had Peustow, it didn’t work out, they put a J-tube which became a life long thing for me, had a Whipple to remove the damaged head and body of Pancreas.
I was there as a pregnant woman who has Pancreatitis and I can understand what you are going through my dear friend. Time is the healing thing and you need to give time. Right now try to be a good mom for your 2yr old son. Take good care of yourself so that you won’t get sick much. Your son needs you. Nobody can take the pain you are feeling for the loss you had. But we will be here whenever you need. I’m glad you wrote today and shared the pain with us.
Try to listen to the soft music and let all the tears come out, with that your grief and the hurting will pass away at least little bit…
Hang in there Kim!
Lots of love and many hugs.
Hi Kim,
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you in my prays. Hope to day is a better day for you.
God Bless
Joe
Kim,
I can only imagine your grief and loss. Try to be grateful for the child you do have and take the time you need to journey through this-- and like you mentioned, know that each day is a new one and with time even this will get easier.
Hugs,
Lisa
Kim,
I feel for you, your pain and your loss. The loss of a child whether at 4 months of pregnancy or anytime after birth I know is very painful and depressing. Have you sought the aid of a psychologist? Counseling will help you to express your sadness as well as how to deal with your neighbors who have been “successful” with their babies.
With love and gentle care,
Anyse
Precious Kim,
Words can’t describe the devastation of losing a child…it is so painful at times that only moans can be made. I was warned about having kids because I had an acute pancreatic attack that nearly killed me as a child. They knew so little about why I had such a severe attack they were afraid “something” hormonal might cause another acute attack that I would “never live through”. I doubted I was even able to conceive or carry to term. I did and I had a host of problems carrying her.
We decided to start trying again when out first was close to age 2. I got pregnant with no problem but then lost it around 12 weeks. No reason was given and no connection was made to the pancreas. I got pregnant again and we were thrilled. I carried this baby to 18weeks and had to have a D&C. At that point I was devastated. I was mad at God, my husband, my body…you name it and I was pissed at it. The docs had no answers and I had finally decided that I could not try again to have my heart ripped from my chest.
I talked to my OB/GYN and she suggested taking progesterone suppositories if I conceived. I did and started the progesterone suppositories (vaginal) as directed. I was such a nut about fearing I would lose another one that I didn’t tell anyone until I started to show. Even then, I made plans beyond the due date. It was like, if I didn’t acknowledge the pregnancy I wouldn’t get hurt if it didnt work out.
Well, things did work out. Twice. We have 3 healthy girls. I had preterm labor for all three. The last two girls were “helped out” by the progesterone suppositories and I has a HUGE pancreatic attack when my youngest was 6 weeks old.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that as my mother puts it “Whenever God closes a door he always opens a window.” Sometimes the window is a huge bay window, other times is a single pane that is been knocked out.
I am so sorry for your loss and you will are allowed to feel anyway you want without at any time. Breath, put one foot in front of the other and when you can’t bear it any more give it to God and wrap your arms around your 2 year old.