Greetings from Southeast Arizona!

Well, I received a recent invite from Jen D to join this place and so here I am. I am a long term member of, so some of you might already know me. I also have an HIV Weblog over at that site, which is where Jen read some of my “stuff” and invited me here.

Look forward to meeting you guys and helping out with HIV knowledge in any way I can.

I was infected on, or about, September 14, 1983, and have been living this stuff for all of that time.


Welcome, and congratulations on being a long term survivor.
26 years. That is amazing.
No doubt your experience and knowledge can benefit a lot of us in this forum.
Having lived with HIV for approx 13 years, and remaining healthy without meds I’ve felt really fortunate.
But lately I’ve just felt like I’m falling apart emotionally.
This is surprising since all these years I’ve handled being HIV+ so well.
I don’t get it at all.

Hi Jorge,

This is what is known as life cycles. I observed differences at first in my “35 cycle” which lasted well into my 40th year. 50 Was fabulous, and then you can rid yourself of all the stuff that you are still carrying from earlier in life, but is totally un-needed anymore. Now this year, 60, and this one is the first in a long time to be confusing.

Why did I go there? Because on top of HIV, which is a part of us and doesn’t define us, you also have numerous other cycles in life where we notice change, but don’t always have guidance to move forward. I have gone through a number of very large changes in my HIV life, and for the most part, it has been a pretty good ride.

I have been declared dead twice, but damn it, I still have far too much to do to cash it all in now.

Just remember, we are the change we desire to be, and this is not a dress rehersal.

I hope this helps.

Love Tim.

" HIV, which is a part of us and doesn’t define us…"

Funny you should say this. It’s an issue I am dealing with.

Few people have known I am HIV+ so it hasn’t defined me in that respect.
I’ve done well on my job, missed less time than my “healthy” co-workers, been promoted and virtually doubled my salary. And I’ve been well liked.

But recently I was put in the position where I had to reveal my HIV status to somebody I met (because they were interested in me personally) and needless to say it scared them off.

I know I did the right thing, but it really hurt me.
And far more than I ever expected it to.
I haven’t felt so lonely in years.

On one hand I am tired of isolating myself from close relations with other people because I don’t want to reveal my HIV status.

 On the other hand I don't know if I can handle the rejection I will face by coming out.

Either way I can’t seem to avoid it defining my life, and who I am in other people’s eyes.