my new thing is being unable to write around people. i always choose debit so i know i wont have to sign anything. well yesterday the lady made a mistake and put in credit. i was panic stricken. my hand was shaking so bad. i started to sign my name and it looked like scribble. And then out of the blue i told the woman that i have bad nerves and she said oh well you did fine. sometimes we underestimate the kindness of strangers. most people dont want to see people anxious and uncomfortable. i told my son’s girlfriend that i had social anxiety disorder and she just said oh okay.
maybe the solution to the uncomfortable situation is to just be honest about it. its no different than any other illness. we need to start treating ourselves with the respect that we deserve. it still doesnt take away the anxiety but at least we are headed in the right direction.
Hi, spiritriver,
Anxiety causing fear of more anxiety...oh, yes, I can relate. I always scored off the charts as an introvert on any personality test that I took. Yes, in this world, it is hard to be an introvert.
Susie
Hi, cyndi,
I like what you wrote here about being upfront with people and accepting our illness as an illness, no different than someone who has some other kind of medical problem. For so long, I was so ashamed, and it took so many years to come to that realization. I'm working on being more open with people about my anxiety disorder. You're right...we do deserve respect, and I think that must start with respecting ourselves.
Your post really hit home with me. I've been thinking about these things a lot. :)
my best,
Susie
i was watching the trailer for that movie on social anxiety disorder. it looks like its going to be very good and hopefully raise awareness. if we can get the information out there then maybe we wont have to feel so guarded and afraid. i want to start a social anxiety group in my area but you can find groups at meetup.com i just thought you might like to have this information. i havent been to a meeting yet but i have heard alot of good things. its pretty laid back and it gives you an oppourtunity to talk to others with the same problems.
Hi, cyndi…
Yes, that movie does look very interesting. I, too, am hoping that it sheds some light on all of us "nervous folks".
Thanks for the info. about meetup. I'll look into it.
Hope that you’re having a good day,
Susie
There are so many possible reasons a person develops phobias, it's hard to know where to start, when it comes to formulating effective treatments. I think it helps to know ourselves to the greatest extent possible. It seems the more we understand ourselves, the easier it is to practice self-forgiveness, which is the first step toward healing.
According to the Meyers Briggs personality indicator, less than 1% of the population is my "type." Knowing this helped me to realize why I so often felt that I didn't "fit in." When I was younger, not fitting in caused me anxiety. Then I developed anxiety related to fear of having anxiety...and it kept snowballing till it was immobilizing. There's more to the story, but that would be digressing too much.
The point is, when we are far enough outside our comfort zone, we can experience PTSD or phobic disorders. If one is an introvert by nature, being forced into an extrovert role can lead to plenty of anxiety and worse.
There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, but it is culturally mandated that we all be outgoing. Since this behavior violates our basic nature, becoming anxious and withdrawn shouldn't be a surprising outcome. There are also circumstantial/environmental factors that can lead to fear of many things. I think it's more amazing that any of us remain sane, in our society, with all it's stressors.
Anyway, here's a tool for assessing a few basic elements of our nature:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
Self understanding is a good thing. At least it helps to understand why the upstream journey takes so much effort.
thank you spiritriver that was very helpful advice. thank you for the link too.
I’m very grateful God made me the way I am. The hard times and hang ups are part of the growth adventure.
Hi, Spiritriver,
Thanks for the reminder...Yep, we're all made in all kinds of different ways. I keep forgetting that it's just okay to be me...that is not what some people say spirit my therapist has spent time telling me what you said but it seems to me people are impatient and embarrassed with my social anxiety in school I would get in trouble for not reading aloud thats been14 years ago but still an example of the feeling that its not ok to have this I have had this sense I was really little but wasn’t formally diagnosed til a couple years ago I was always more than shy more severe but teachers in school parents and family made me think it was a bad thing my mom would always say I always hoped you would grow out of it I t took me finding this place to begin to realize that what I feel is not wrong