Help I'm frustrated!

Anxiety
#1

Hi Peps,

Oh, Having a crappy day today. I have GAD & a husband that is lazy. I’m tired of asking hime to help out around the house & with the kids. I work 27-32 hours a week, managing mostly teenagers at a large convenience/pizza/sandwich store, for 5 yrs now. We no longer pay for daycare :slight_smile:
My Dad used to come up from CT to ME. I would make a “honey do” list & together we would do it. He passed away 4 years ago from leukemia, probalby didn’t spell that right.

If I ask my husband to help out…it turns into a fight, within ear shot of the kids…I hate it. So…I’ve gone into shutdown mode. He exists & I exist. I don’t ask him for anything. I don’t want a screaming match. This has been the same arguement for 4 years now. He senses I’m pissed & then says…Oh I’ll help you do this house project or that. Why!! Do I have to go into shutdown mode before he reacts. I’m so sick of it!! We have been married for 15 yrs & together for 17.5 yrs.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated- Maybe I’m supposed to be in some other website.

#2

No, we can talk about anything here? Everyone is pretty friendly. Im sorry about this fustration your having with your family/husband. Did you try sitting the whole family down and tell them how your feeling. This is effecting you. Things like this can lead to depression and anxiety. Tell them they have to put your thoughts and feelings into consideration and family is not just about them, your included as well. Explain to them individually their faults and how they are effecting you. How you would like your family to be.

#3

Thanks Toni,

I talked to a friend today. That seemed to help. I just got off the phone w/ my husband. He knows that’s I’m frustrated & is willing to change, but I’ve been here before w/ him. I told him “no more” of the yelling & my shutdowns…I quit this cycle.

He’s scared, which I can’t blame him. 3 years ago I ran off with the contractor for 3 days. It was awful. The guy told me everything I wanted to hear, while working on my house. Once I got into his house, he was verbally & physically abusive. I feel like I’m walking around with a scarlet letter on me @ family functions. Thanks for listening. Gotta go to work :slight_smile: Jenn

#4

wow…SO maybe in reality your just not happy with him anymore ,try counseling if you feel the relationship is worth saving, If not (easy said then done at times) leave him. Did he find out about this “contractor”?

#5

Steve,

Your to funny. I’m still laughing. I love the intellectually beat the crap out of me part. I have told him, to grow up so many times, my head spins. I feel like I have a 43 year old son that I have to raise. Girls…I KNOW I’m not alone on this one.

He’s trying…but this time I’ve told him. I can’t have him slump back into his old ways. I want team work. I swear as women we want everthing peachy & rosey. Men just exist in the picture. I’m just looking for a little effort. Yeah…we have to take baby steps. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. If he folds a load of laundry…I’m so happy…I’m doing jumping jacks in the livingroom. No…jk I don’t make that much of a scene. I just don’t think I have to say “Thank You” everytime he does it. He doesn’t thank me.

Can’t live with them…Can’t live without them-Amen

Lata

#6

Lol yes…funny but true Steve. Just try being more demanding. Maybe he will get the picture. Im not sure how you’ve done it this far and Im not sure how much longer you can take this. Respect works both ways in a relationship and it seems like your giving and not getting…unfair:(