after three years with my fiance, i chose to end our relationship today. he did not take it well- i had to leave the house because he would not. he just kept begging me not to do it. i wanted to cave so badly. i just want to be happy, and we weren’t. i don’t want to be alone, but i feel like as long as we were together i kept getting pulled closer and closer to the black. he is a good man. i hurt him and i didn’t want to. i feel so numb- so terrified- so alone.
Hi nyteyes, sounds really difficult, but like a positive step for you to take. there’s a little saying about it being better to be alone when you’re alone, than being alone when you’re together. not to say it’s easy, but personally i agree so much with this. sending you my warmest thoughts and biggest hugs, sally/ sadkitty
being alone is hard but while you are with us in this group you are not alone we are all here to help each other. Sometimes we got to step back and take a time out to see what we need to do or how we can get help.
ny, I'm proud of you for not going ahead and getting married to him despite your true feelings. I've done that before, knewing damn well how I really felt about the guy. That's worse than going through the pain of a separation beforehand! Good job. Move on and be honest with him. It'll be better for the both of you in the long run. I'm sure it's hurts right now, but in time you'll feel better and realize it was the right thing to do.
I experienced what you're going through during my 1st divorce - my kids' father *and* high school sweetheart, which made it that much harder. I felt like I was betraying him, but I also knew deep down that my feelings were real and would never change. He was devastated but soon met another lady and married her a year later. They've been married about 25 years and are very happy. See ... moving on and change is a good thing, especially if you're not happy. Life is short, be happy. :)
(((hugs)))… that’s a tough thing. I hope you find the right one sometime in near future and that he does too. It takes a strong person to walk away from a relationship that one knows isnt quite right.
he keeps asking for another chance- telling me it’s the bipolar talking, just another cycle. i’m not strong enough to deal with this now…
Mannnnn, been there done that. I was the one begging though. I became a lazy ass in the relationship. We were supposed to be getting married July 2005 and we broke up in January. It sucked. But now that I think back on it, he was right. Yeah, it might suck to be single but you’re single, you’re not lonely. You can get some things done for yourself. I had to go through the stages of grief first before I figured it out. Then I got knocked up and messed all my plans up. BUT everything happens for a reason. You guys are just moving out of each others way to let the RIGHT person come into your lives. That’s how you have to look at it.
The bravest most wonderful thing you could have done was walked away before it was too late. Being trapped in a relationship is probably the worse place anyone would want to be.
I'm sorry you are hurting but you did the right thing for you. You should be really proud of that.
((((HUGS)))
Cee
Nyteyes,
OK, stay strong, stick to your point, make sure it is your heart talking and nothing else. I dont know the history, but if this had been brewing for a long while, then step out of it.
I know the guilt is going to hit like a stone on a glass roof, but just be true to yourself...no matter what.... but we are here...those who have gone through loss, and pain, and guilt and all that yucky stuff that makes us the beautiful caring folks we are. That you are!
I will give you the same advice I give to others in pain, and I mean this honestly, put your chin down, scream, cry, and get it all out. You deserve it! I encourage you to indulge in self-pity and feel very sorry for yourself for awhile... (but dont get carried away, too much is a bad thing) Sometimes this really helps ! Honest!
fondly,
Clover...over
Be true to yourself. Stick with your heart and as will go just fine. Falling in and out of love can be rough. through struggles comes strenght. If you are ment to be I believe life will push together inspite of what you do and this time a part will make your desire for him stronger. I think take a powerful woman to take good care of her and don’t just give in because it’s comfortable and you know what to expect. Like I said stay true to yourself and the answers be clear.