My mother is 86 years old. My brother has been hostile to me & her since he married about 20 years ago. He has been angry at me for my depression & it only got worse when his girlfriend (now wife) told him to choose between her & me(duh!!.) Then my mother decided to move to FL & my sister-in-law cut her off because she didn’t stay in the NE with her grandchild. Things have gotten progressively more nasty & although I am sure that they will not hurt my mom physically, they inflict a lot of emotional damage. I worry about her, but I very much worry about my ability to care for her & me. I am very vulnerable to people not understanding depression & how debiltating it is & how hard it is to recover & get on w/ yor life. I know I am doing OK, but need to be stronger for my mother & me.
You are in a very difficult position, taking care of your mother, lacking the support of your brother, and bettling your own depression! I really admire your strength, courage, and selflessness. Just remember to do thibgs for yourself as well (I know that is often easier said than done). It is so difficult to be blamed for having a disease. If you were diabetic, I am sure that your brother would not blame you for that, but somehow because our illness (I also suffer from mahjor depression) is not outwordly visable, people often point the finger at us. Years ago my brother told me that depression is a choice and that I should stop being so self-absorbed. Obviously anyone who thinks that a person would voluntarily choose constantemotional pain, lack of motivation and energy, insomnia, etc, has obviouusly nerver experienced depression. I was very hurt by that statement. I was a teenager at the time, and for years I wondered if it really was somehow all my fault. Recently, my brother and I have reached abn understanding and he finally told me that he realizes how difficult things are for me. Although depression is gaining notoriety, I think that it still remains largely misunderstood. Know that you are doing the best you can in a situation that would be difficult for someone without the added burden of depression. Your family is very fortunate and I hope that one day your brother will realize that. Thank you for sharing your story.