ive had the same boyfriend for 3 yrs now almost… weve been thro a lot… and about a yr ago finally realized ( me telling him all the time didnt help ) that something was wring with me… for the first two yrs of our relationship… things got pretty bad… we would hit eachother… he would choke me… and even tho inever hit him hard ( yes i realize that hitting in the first place is bad ) hed bruise me up really good. well now we’re trying this relationship thing again… he said he wants to try to learn how to deal with me when i get my mood swings… and i dont know i can do to help. he still gets mad at me… yells at me and calls me names like im doing it on purpose… and i dont know what to do to make it better. like when he gets mad at me like that… i get all depressed… start crying… i mean like uncontrolable sobs… and he still keeps going. its not like i can just hit a switch to make myself stop with the mood swing. i think its really affecting our relationship again this time. is it to much to ask for… that when we get that way… for the person we’re with to just hug us? tell us they love us? try to make it better instead of making it worse? thats all i ever asked for… was a hug to calm me down. i cant even talk to him about anything without him getting upset with me. he thinks everything i say now… im saying cuz im “sick” and dont realize wheat im saying… even if i have a valid point in my eyes. what do you guys suggest i do? i need to do something. im losing myself and hitting a depression again. i dont wanna go down this road…
Honey, you don’t say whether you are taking medication or seeing a therapist or not…I hope that you are. I don’t this advice will help much, but this sounds like a very abusive relationship and you really should talk to a professional person about this…We can be here for you for support, though, when you need us! Good Luck and God Bless you!
im not on my meds right now… ive been working the last 3 months 60 hours a week so i havent had time to go see my doc… i have an appointment in 13 days tho to start back up again. im not seeing a therapist either. i cant really afford one right now so im trying the best i can by myself.
It is very important to stay on the meds, i know that. I will be praying for you! I hope you can see your way to finding a social worker, minister, priest, etc. to talk with because it is important, also. Let us know how you are~~
he hits you and tried to choke and you were all bruised pretty bad?
He’s not loving you – he’s battering you. I don’t care what you did or said, no one should be doing that to you. No one, and that includes you sweety, deserves that kind of abuse.
As long as you’re in any kind of relationship with him, it will continue – and will get worse and worse. One of these days you will end up in the hospital.
You need somewhere else to stay – for both your emotional and your physical safety. Check the local phone book, or city/county services in your area. There are places to get help. You really need to get him out of your life.
If you can’t afford therapy, try to find a support group for help with the depression, bipolar disorder or the ABUSE!
Even with bipolar no one should hit you, no matter what the circumstances. I was physically and mentally abused by my first husband, and then I realized that I didn’t deserve that abuse.
With bipolar there should be free clinics to go to, my daughter is bipolar and the dr. that we go to has been giving us discounts because we don’t have insurance, she also gives us samples, because my daughter’s meds. if filled by a pharmacy would cost us over $1000 per month., but she is on meds and it took over one year to get stabilized as she had a hard time.
I will have prayers for your situation and wish you the very best of luck. Please, please think of getting out of your relationship, because it will not stop, no matter what he says, or if he blames you all the time, it is not worth it.
It sounds to me like your BF has some mental issues himself. No man in his right mind would hurt or abuse his loved ones. I would do whatever I could to get out of that situation. It is not healthy for your own health, safety and sanity. It’s time to focus more on your needs and desires rather than waste it on his issues. Take care of YOU, my friend. Hugs.
thanks guys for all your replies…i thought about it hard… when im not working lol. this is what ive decided…
IF he loves me… and means it this should be ok…
ONLY when we BOTH get ourselves together… can we be together… no more of his yelling… and name calling… ( he does it even in front of my friends which embarrass me so much ) and my mood swings… ( which means medication time )… i think this will be for the best. if we love eachother and we’re meant to be… everything should work out. i just know that its causing a strain on both of us to be together right now. so we’ll see how it goes… wish me luck!
Wishing you all the luck in the world, hon!