How long does it take to stop feeling hijacked?

Narcissistic personality disorder
#1

Its been a month now since my husb walked out the door after we had a bad fight. He refused to speak to me " for legal reasons" whatever that means and then the police picked him up for a bunch of charges I did not even know he had. DUI, failure to show for a court appearance, driving without a license etc etc. At the time I did not know that the SOB had molested my daughter. I am sure that he feels very powerful by not talking to me. I am doing a little better but I can already see that this is going to take time. I still cry pretty easy. I am seeing a therapist. It seems like my world just went topsy-turvy over night. I have found out a thousand lies that he told, seen a thousand manipulations. I got so tired of having to stroke his ego, of there being no intimacy, no sharing. I knew something was missing, I just didn’t understand what. Then my therapist told me that he obviously has NPD. So i’ve been reading and searching the internet. Does anyone have any good book recommendations? I like to read and I need to understand. I would sure appreciate any advice anyone has to offer.

Thanks

#2

I can’t answer your question about when you stop feeling that way. I just realized that my husband is a narcissist and thus all the "I love you"s and "Im sorry"s were all bogus and even his wedding vows didn’t mean anything to him, just a way to lock me in. I feel very hijacked. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. If it’s any consolation, you are further along the road to recovery than I am. I am in for a verbal treat in a half hour when I get off of work.

#3

I don’t know much about books to recommend, but I can tell you if you want further understanding about NPD, watch The Soprano’s daily on A & E. It has been very enlightening for me.

The lead character is the head of a mob family and was raised by an NPD mother. We get to see how the N octopus spreads its tentacles. His mother’s treatment has caused Tony Soprano to pass out from anxiety attacks.

If you can get by the graphic violence, the real interesting part is Tony Soprano’s therapy sessions. It’s fascinating how his therapist’s information is absorbed and used by Tony.

Every episode I come away with a sense of enlightenment.

Remember, you are not the messed up one here. You may have been messed up by someone, but you sound like someone with a good foundation to rebuild on.

#4

Actually,
David Chase had Dr. Melfi’s character posit that Tony was a sociopath, and his mother BPD…but the results are the same.

I’ve read a number of books, Malignant Slef-Love was helpful at the time I read it, but once I had come to grips with what the real deal was, I never did find any books that were good for helping me claw my way back to normal.

Sorry.

#5

Leelee…there is light at the end of this tunnel…and you will see it soon.

Knowledge is power…the more we know,the more we grow,as they say.
Beat wishes,

#6

it takes a good while to reclaim your’soul’Leelee and anna…but hang on in ther gal…it WILL happen…you are just tired.