But the truth is, I do care that he has treated me like this, I do care that my realtionship is over, I do want it to work and I do wish he would come around and I wish that he could see that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I was patient and I cared and always had his best interest at heart. now I sound like an N.
Hope, you are not an N, you gave everything you had to an N, that could not appreciate or love anyone, it had nothing to do with you and you have every right to feel as bad as you do, but he will never come around, you have to give up that hope that he will. You can't reason or get through to him, you have to stop trying and begin no contact at all. You are not a downer, we have all been where you are, we know exactly how you feel, but it will slowly get better. It is never as fast as we want it to be, but it has to start with you,You can't make it work or fix him. Give up all your hope of that happening, then you can start focusing on yourself and what you need to do next. Try to keep yourself busy, force yourself to get out for awhile. It is ok to have a bad day and cry, but you have to force yourself to do something to take your mind off him and get back into life. You can get through this, it hurts like hell, but you will get through it, others on here are still recovering and trying to move in, it is a slow process, your not alone. Hugs mamolie