I changed my mind about posting the details of my problems. I would like support from people however. I am scared to post a general message on the internet that anyone can view.
You can e-mail me privately, at: messages_of_madness4the_masses@yahoo.com if you’d like… No judgement here… just support and understanding, 24/7… In friendship and fellowship…
I went from serious to severe OCD when I was 13 and 14 y/o. I'm 46 now. Back then there was so little known about OCD and it was untreatable. I had no idea what was wrong with me until I was diagnosed when I was 36 y/o. Throughout my life I've suffered through numerous obsessive episodes and between them had periods when I felt okay and wasn't obsessing. Mostly pure-o type of stuff. And episode on average would last 1 to 3 months and sometimes longer. Okay periods lasted about the same period of time.
From 1996 to 2002 I went through the most painful and devastating time of my life that was the absolute worst. My real life was falling apart because of a separation and divorce I went through and custody problems with my kids and there were so many other things happening besides that. When someone like me(or you?)has an overactive anxiety disorder and the realities of our lives are in turmoil; our OCD becomes bigger and in more turmoil. That's our way of dealing with it that realistically comes down to not dealing with it at all because we're too busy struggling and trying to deal with the OCD. So these 6 yrs I spent in therapy and under psychiatric care which only managed to make things worst because none of these ptrofessionals I was seeing were equipped in dealing with OCD. I was medicated until I was barely functioning and looked and felt like a zombie.
It wasn't until I quit the therapy and psychiatric care and went off all the drugs I was prescribed that I finally got my life back. I read a book called "Stop Obsessing" by Edna Foa and learned about exposure/response prevention therapy. For the 1st time in my life, I felt like there was hope for me. I gradually began to confront some of the fears that caused the obsessions. In the long run, I have learned to live my life in spite of the OCD. It has no power over me anymore. This isn't saying that it's still not there and just as intense and overbearing as it always was. I still have episodes with it. But I keep moving and living my life anyway and have done outstanding with this.
There is a website that I found last February called OCDonline. If you haven't come across it, I would suggest you please check it out. It has been of great help to me. I learned about something called "Responsibility OC" and that this is the type of OCD I've had for the vast majority of my life. I always thought it was only "my ocd." But it's not and it has a name and other people have it too. This was mind blowing to me. Maybe you could learn something about yourself too by checking out this website.
Anyway, take care. Hope I've been of some help to you. RussThank you for sharing your story with me. I am doing much better and
like you I too have had moments of periods of freedom and such. I will
check out the OCDonline site. I have had problems mainly with religious
and moral issues. Mine starts out from stuff that I have read. I
usually don’t have many personal problems. I am sorry that you had to
go through what you went through.
Take care,
brownilocks
alphonse wrote:
I was afraid of chemicals, so a therapist said to spray cleaner on both
hands and not to wash it off all day.
It helps with fears of chemicals and people.
Good luck
Frank
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