I’m tired of being a virgin…but I don’t talk to people. I don’t talk to people…because I am shy or whatever…I feel like everyone is my enemy basically…it hurts badly. I don’t need to be told it’s ok there’s someone for everyone…I don’t need “it’s not that big a deal”…I just want help somehow. But nobody can do that…I won’t do anything…unless it can somehow entail friendliness to the fullest extent…next problem and this is the main problem is that I make a pitiful $8 an hour being a 22/m and screwed up…I forget if this is a no holds barred kinda place so I’ll refrain from more aggressive comments. I just want a girlfriend…but I can’t ever get one the way I am now…or maybe I can. I don’t know…but I have no patience and I don’t talk to people…so naturally I figure it’s pointless. I have no complaints on my appearance…though my physical health is beyond terrible…I eat horribly daily…the only thing lately that is of any use to me is the water I drink (I work outdoors). I have no control at all…zero. None. I waste money easily…on whatever route/thing I feel will help me feel better…(not drugs, though I do drink) Still, not heavy drinker really either. I don’t need the “your not alone speil” because I never thought I was. I can only focus on myself…and with this logic who should care at all about me when I don’t care back? And with this…I continue to wage an endless brutal war in my mind daily…literally every friggen second of every minute of every hour of every day of ect ect…I never stop thinking about it…I only think about how I will ever have sex…but ultimately a girlfriend is the ideal situation…of course. But…I don’t know. I need to be free on the social level…or at least enough to communicate. I can’t ever hope to have sex without communication. Free that is…and paying is no answer at all with my kind of income.
Lazy American,
I won’t give you the ‘you’re not alone spiel’, what you need is God. He is
the only one that can fix your problems, and always be there for you.
Have you ever tried praying?
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