I want my friend to be safe

My friend with asberger syndrome would not be a big deal if it was just a tantrum or awkwardness in a group, when she gets stressed, she can run off and go hitchhiking or give suicide threats, I finally told her that I will not contact her anymore because she will not learn that those social situations under any circumstance are never ever ever, to be practiced. It is clear and concrete. i am worried about my friend but i do not know what else to do…advice?

Dear Addidastar,

CONGRATULATIONS on being a friend to an Aspie. Not an easy vocation, although the benifits are immense. You can help your friend by not judging her. But by setting clear boundaries you can assist her in finding her own. I don’t know how old your friend is but I am assuming you are at least in high school based on what you wrote. Depression in teenagers is sometimes a side effect of the medication used to control anxiety. Or on the flip side, if the anxiety is not dealt with it can cause all sorts of seemingly strange behavior. If you take the attitude that behavior is communication, you can get past the social taboo and find the cause of the anxiety.

In Asperger’s, there is generally a strong desire to have friends, without the natural ability to know what to do to make and keep friends. Threats of harm may be a mechanism she has learned to control her world., to get people to do what she wants.

Help her find her natural abilities. She most likely has somthing she likes above all else. This is where she will find her passiion to live.

If you haven’t already tried, get a counselor on board, read up on Asperger’s. There are many great resources on the internet.

Good luck, and kudos to you for caring. My daughter has a friend like you and it has made all the difference in her world.