Hi Patsy,
Your experience is the exact reason that I never attended a group meeting to begin with. This is actually the first group anything that I’ve joined. This is what I tell people:
1st: If you’ve never had (specifically) breast cancer, you can imagine how you might ‘feel’ with the initial diagnosis, the idea of an early death, etc., but you CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH.
2nd. If you’ve been told that your lump is cancerous but all you need endure is a lumpectomy and radiation, NO CHEMOTHERAPY, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH.
3rd. If you’ve been told that your lump is beyond any type of treatment and are given months to live, I CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH.
It’s a similar reason why I chose two female OB/GYNs (who gave birth themselves) to deliver my two babies. I don’t care if a male doctor has delivered 20K babies in his life, he knows nothing about pregnancy, labor, and delivery.
When I went to the doctor for the first time and he coldly told me what the problem is and what I’d have to endure if I wanted to live, I cried, screamed, you name it. No other oncologist in this hospital had breast cancer who could relate to me; that’s why I was almost forced to chose this doctor. He’s good, but very cold. Anyway, the nurse asked if I wanted to speak to their on-staff psychologist because of my depression. Did she ever have cancer of any type? Of course not. What in the world could she help me with?
I actually told the nurse that it’s insulting to have someone working to help women through this who has never had cancer herself.
To repeat Patsy: READ READ READ . . .I have a friend who went to the same dr. as I have, and he told her to stay away from the internet and don’t read anything - HE’D take care of all her questions. I’ve literally pulled up thousands of sites to read. He knows it. That’s why I’m not one of his favorite patients (!)