I am a married male (7 years) with AS (diagnosed ~.
Changing my diet saved my marriage. I used to be withdrawn, irritable and paranoid but altering my diet helped me to be much more functional.
I am chemical and food intolerant. Different food and chemical combinations can cause withdrawal from everyone and everything (feels like being inside a grey cloud and you can’t think straight), severe anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive symptoms, skin rashes, dark rings under the eyes, severe upset tummy or constipation etc. All of these can be improved by dietary changes.
Ginkgo biloba and magnesium sulfate baths may also help:
Ginkgo really helps me with my asd symptoms. I take “natures own” 2000mg three times a day 9am, 3pm amd 8pm. Makes a very big difference to my brain functioning level.
You may need to be very specific on what you do want with your husband. He may not know when the right time is to be intimate with you. You may need to help him initally so that he knows what type of things to do. Hopefully if you can get your husband to try the food changes then he will be able to think more clearly and will be more like the person you only see rarely now. If your husband is willing to try anything to be better then this is definately worth trying! I know that I have changed so much since I made these changes (for the better) which is why I want to help other people.
Have a look at these sites and get back to me if you have any questions.
I have also had great success with magnesium sulfate baths (epsom salts).
Also with dietary changes and minimising exposure to volatile chemicals and chemical exposure in general.
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My sympathies and best of luck.