Is anyone having problems finding a job and getting excited about looking for a job in your 50’s?
I’m 41 and still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up! I’m narrowing it done though!
Poppy:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It really makes me appreciate all that I have had in my life. I had these thoughs after reading your story. You may be too hard on yourself and blame yourself for some of the bad experiences you had. It is important that you mourn your father’s death and realize you could not help your father. I believe when your time is up its up. No one can predict when that will happen. Be glad you were there beside you father when he died. how do you know he was begging you to help him? Could he have been also saying in his eyes I am sorry for leaving so soon? He must have loved you every much. Now its you time to say goodbye to him- cry and talk to him. I lost my dad about 7 years ago and I still think about him and cry.- I think it is ok at times to cry but I know my dad would say -don’t waste all your time crying for me instead make me proud by loving my grandkids. Play with them, look at the simple, naive ways they do things and enjoy those moments. This is a cruel world a selfish world- help make your kids strong so they don’t feel the same pain or experience the bad experiences you had. try and remember the good times you had with your father- Have you seen the kid movie “land before Time”. You should watch it and think about what is said. Your father will always be with you- in your heart and in your memories.
Change is hard for everyone. Moving to a new place and losing you father are big changes.
Another suggestion I have - Is it possible to create a play group in your area. Maybe call the library resource dept. ask them if the library has activities for your kids that you could attend ? Also call around to the churches in your area. Maybe you don’t beleive in god but you still might be able to meet some mothers that you could hang with. If you breast fed any of your children try and join a La Lecha group and help other new mothers with the breast feeding experience. Post at your grocery store- Wanted mother to start a play group. It is hard to be alone with three kids or even with just one child. You need adult contact. PLease realize I am not discounting you feelings I am just trying to help you find ways to relieve some of the stress you are feeling. Also write in a journal every day- write your feelings and what happened during the day. Sometimes by writing we release feelings so they don’t bottle up inside us and then overwhelm. We can’t cope- so we get even more depressed. Also after you get comfortable writing start making a comment on somthing that was good about the day. even the smallest event is important. My child smiled at me today. My child laughed- combed his hair by himself today. I noticed my child has by fathers walk, smile, eyes. This is not an easy process and it takes time. But when you do decide you get more counseling- you have something to show them- you don’t have to say- I started hating myself again two years ago or what ever. They can read your journal and can see if you are improving or getting worse. I hope this helps.
Your are very welcome Poppy- Hope this week is a better one. My grandmother always said when things got rough- "
“this to shall pass”. I did not understand that saying as the time. But is help me once in awhile to say that to myself. I say hold on- this to will pass-
Sunburst73