Just needing to get stuff off my chest

Depression
#1

I thought maybe i should post here as ive just been kicked off of another forum cause in the past few weeks ive mentioned that “s” (suicide) word. (I didnt even say i was going to do it…just was refering to something which happened in the past) and ive been told my convos are going too deep so asked to leave support forum of another site :frowning:

Im trying to deal with so much right now… doctors are giving me the run about with tests, making me redo them over and over cause abnormal results come up which they dont understand. ( currently have cortisol problems showing up on tests and strange BP problems).

My moods are swinging everywhere at times. My life just isnt right at the moment, my relationship may be very wrong, but i just dont know etc.

I had what i think could maybe be called a sexual flashback of past abuse which was triggered by an event… and since then my mood swings have been even worst.

With them… im dealing with on and off depressed feelings (not really depression as such as they dont last long… but they are making me suicidal at times and self harm).

Doctor wouldnt just refer me to a psychologist doctor as I asked… as he wants to go throu a long questionaire with me first…but im uncomfortable about going throu that with the doctor…and would rather just go to the psych doctor to do it.

Without me seeing a psychristrist, doctor wont give me drugs i told him im needing for moods, as he’s worried i’ll react to them (im very sensitive to drugs). So once again he’s saying he himself needs to give me an assessment first. I myself know my issues and it isnt stuff he’s capable of dealing with… so it makes no sense (other than it all being just the way things work in my country) that he just dont go and refer me to someone WHO CAN help me.

So im in the meantime… im just waiting for all the other tests the doctors all want redone to be completed… before i go further with dealing with my “mental” issues. (my other medical conditions could be causing the moods etc)

Why has the doctor left me like this in meantime… why couldnt he just give me a very small supply of drugs to help me get throu things. Something to take when i find myself going suicidal or about to self harm.

thanks for allowing me to vent… im upset ive been kicked off the other forum due to the moods and how ive been… when i just cant easily get the help im needing by the professionals.

feeling distressed sucks! feeling angry sucks! feeling mood swings sucks! feeling depressed sucks!

#2

Getting kicked off a sit when you need it does suck. I’m glad you came back to Careplace. You vent all you want. We love and understand you. That is what careplace is all about . The girls above said it all.
Please know you are loved…
~ Sammi ~

#3

getting kicked off a support site sucks big time!

I’m glad to see your post, but not so glad about what you wrote.

I was on the dbsa forum for a while, and if anyone posted a thread with the “s” word or other self-harm issues, it needed to be labeled “possible trigger.”

What good is a support group if you can’t talk about what you need support about? Was it “one strike” and you’re out? that seems a bit harsh!

I hate so much to hear you’re having such a hard time. Is part of the problem because of the OZ health system – is it “universal” coverage like in GB and Canada?

Questionnaires are informative, but they can’t be used to make a definite diagnosis. You still need to talk to a psych and rely on his/her experience.

I hope things improve for you. When you feel like shit is no time to be treated so badly.

Hang on. you have all my hugs and good wishes.

peace,
c.

#4

I agree with C-saw. If you can,t vent on a support site where else can you go to air your feelings. Sometimes just being able to "let it all out to friends " will sometimes give a measure of relief. The support group is just that. A sounding board. It’s not as if the members can heal your anger or emotional problems. It’s just being there to listen.I try to encourage my friends to not give up seeking help from professionals. And sometimes you have to go through a few before you find one you like. But I tell members I am here to listen and to support them. I hope you get the help you need soon and things turn around for you. In the meantime I,m sending love and keeping you in my prayers. Love, gramms

#5

I am so sorry you are having the experience you are having. Can you go to a hospital or an emergency room the next time you feel suicidal. It would be better than resorting to self harm. I have been dealing with the same feelings you describe for a while now and I thank God for my Psyc Doc I cant imagine life without the meds he perscribes. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers I hope your tests help the Dr’s help you soon.
Christine

#6

i’m very sorry to hear of your distress. i agree with the other ladies in that you shouldn’t have been kicked off that site…mentioning suicide shouldn’t be taboo. it is a cry for help. i have been here for 2 months (i can’t remember exactly) and found some new supportive friends. venting is good and seeing your doc again is better…vital. please see him. do what has to be done to get treatment with a psychiatrist. i’m sure you will feel so much better discussing your issues with a professional who can help you…and can help with medication. good luck. and big hugs.

#7

oh boy do i know how you’re feeling right now- i’m in the same fight. if’n i couldn’t vent here i don’t know what i would do- one word to my tdoc about suicidal thoughts- not even plans or anything and she’s ready to throw me in the hospital. i just need someone to talk to at those times! arg! we’re here to listen- is’nt that what a support site is for? i agree, too- i was on dbsa for a whole nanosecond before i came to careplace. hang in there- maybe we can help each other kick some medical booty!

#8

Hey Tania,
It has been a long time! It is good to see you on here again.
I can’t imagine being kicked off a support forum. Support forums can’t work if you have to walk on eggshells as to what words you can say or not. That is one reason why I am so glad to be here at Careplace. These words come up when people are discussing their challenges and is a part of commonly recieveing support. I would call that forum “less than supportive”!
You can be happy about one thing…it is not your fault you are not seeing the propper doctor…it is his. You have done everything you can possibly do. I realise it is aggravating and downright unfair, and it certainly doesn’t make any common sense! (But in case you haven’t noticed, Doctors have to take special courses to become a doctor, one of which is “How to defeat the purpose 101”!)
Hang in there with us, Tania…we won’t kick you out! You are one of our family here and you have been for a very long time!