does anybody out there have a fear of making phone calls. especially to business offices or places where you might be scrutinized? i have had this problem for awhile and dont know what to do about it. its really interferring with my life.
Cydi.
On a larger scale Fear, anxiety, social anxiety are various forms of nervous system disorders. Now what I am trying to say is ‘Making phone calls’ anxiety will have not a special magic pill. You need to work on your anxiety in general.
what are you doing about your anxiety in general?
i understand what you are saying but i have social anxiety disorder which deals with social issues. i see a psychiatrist and therapist to deal with these issues but i would be open to hear anything anyone would have to say regarding treatment. what can i be doing that im not doing? that i dont know.
cyndi, I have that problem. I have a problem talking to anyone that I don’t know.
Susie-What you wrote makes a lot of sense. I do understand Cyndi what you are going through, and I have always found it a bit bizarre. I absolutely DREAD making phone calls…I will put them off as long as possible…I have a lot of days where I won’t even answer the phone if it rings, but having to make the calls out is almost impossible.
hi cyndi…
I know exactly what you mean, even if I don't share that particular phobia. I think that the key word you used there was "scrutiny"...underlying our anxieties of any particular situation is the fear of being judged. We're the ones judging ourselves, though...Other people are busy with their own days and lives and aren't paying as much attention to us as we think. What's really happening is we have some internal judge in our heads who is saying, "YOU DID WRONG!" "YOU ARE STUPID!" If I make a mistake, I assume people will think, "Wow, she's such an idiot." But that's just ME telling MYSELF that. The only thing that has worked for me is to stop each and every time that I hear that "judge" voice in my head and think, "Okay, so how often are you judging others so harshly should they make a mistake?" The answer is always NEVER. I just try to step outside myself and say, "These people are not judging you. You are doing this to yourself."
Spotting the "judge voice" and then reminding myself that I'm my own judge and jury helps me a lot.
Susie
thank you dragonfly for sharing your experience with me. it makes me feel less alone. im also dreading going to the eye doctors which i am long overdue. im afraid that i will freak out and embarrass myself when he shines the light in my eyes. but i cant go along with bad eyesight. i already cant drive at night. anyway, thanks for everything that you had to say. i hope things get better for both of us.
for a long time i hated anyone ever touching me. this isn’t due to sexual abuse (i don’t believe i was) but a kind of nervous breakdown i suppose…i don’t know…i was 15, 16 when it was at its peak. i just, somehow, got better on my own. hold on to the hope in getting better, because you can.
Me too Cyndi-I am trying to plan a wedding and this anxiety about making phone calls is a nightmare…I keep putting the calls off and am running out of time quickly. Do you have someone close who could go with you to the eye doctor, someone you trust?
funny how anger or passion can overcome anxiety, giving you strength and finding that belief in yourself.
I agree but it works better than meds but I can’t be angry all the time
no, that gets exhausting.
cyndi, have you thought of rehearsing phone calls - what you might say - with a friend, to gain confidence?
WELL I NEEDED TO CALL THE ELECTRIC COMPANY TODAY AND COULDNT BRING MYSELF TO DO IT. I KNOW MAYBE A COUPLE OF SUCCESSES MIGHT GIVE ME THE FOUNDATION TO BUILD ON. ITS AS IF IM BEING ASKED TO GO TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR. ITS REALLY RIDICULOUS BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS FEAR PATTERN.
at least he didn’t announce to everyone that my dad is having a baby the poor guy next door was constapated the idiot annouced to the whole floor
Oh Vickie,
I’ve been there, but it’s not the real people, it’s the talking computer people…
In that bright voice with utter assurance you are completely as cheery as she is, And you are, THE FIRST TIME YOU SIT THROUGH
Giving your Number, your code, your membership, your social security number, your astrological sign (ahem), then THE ELEVATOR MUSIC
REPORT HIM TO HIS SUPERVISOR. DO NOT TAKE THAT KIND OF CRAP. THIS IS YOUR FATHER’S HEALTH YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. THIS NURSE IS DEFINITELY IN THE WRONG PROFESSION. GIVE 'EM HELL, VICKIE!
Vickie-That nurse definitely needs to be reported, and don’t let them brush it under the rug. File a complaint and stick with it…It is obscene the way some so-called healthcare workers treat patients-it gives the profession a bad name while there are so many wonderful and caring healthcare workers out there. What that nurse is doing is ABUSE-emotional abuse is just as harmful as physical-those of us on here know that as well as anyone-and he should be fired!
I have a hard time on the phone. It seems like I try and reherse what i am going to say, but when the person come on i always trip over my words and get it all messed up anyway. I try to avoid the phone if at all possible.
yes phone calls are not the best for me either but when I get mad like at the financial aid department at the local college I am trying to get in I Then I was able to open up and let them have it I asked what proof of residency do you need and she said you didn’t give me any thing from 2007 til the present I gave her several different things from 2007 she kept saying its from 2008 I asked what do you exactly need she heeed hawed around for 20 min before asking her supervisor then I got a answer I was ready to put my hand through the phone and shake the living daylights out of that woman just for those moments my anxiety wasn’t there but I don’t want to walk around like that all the time