Hi all, I hope one of you has some answers, I have my buzzer I am ready to play the game. I’m scatty so this post may well be too. Moment by moment as they say, have been suffering depression for some time and all I have wanted to do was sleep my life away as I couldn’t stand to be awake through the hell, through the dark dreary thoughts in my head, how horrible the world was, why was it worth living… and then mania, bring it on. In the first few days I knew I was a little high, that was OK, that was good, but I am now onto about day 7 and everyday the mania gets just that little bit worse, where I am crazy, I am believing that I am mad, I can’t go out in public after what I did the day before and socialising needs to be questionned as I feel that I have completely lost my mind, and therefore I need to take drugs and go to sleep as I am becoming uncontrollable and don’t know what will happen next. Anxiety ridden, shakes and loosing kilos (that part I don’t mind), worst of all loosing my mind. Feeling detached from reality, from the world, here is me, there is everyone and everything else…what to do, what to do. I think what concerns me the most that in reality I really do think people think I am totally off this planet, loopey, cuckoo, nuts, and unfortunately at this present moment I can’t hide it. Loosing my marbles, loosing my mind AGAIN…Kazbar
hello well if your losing your marbles then iam not far behind getting abit freaked every time i use microwave etc i can hear voices coming out of it and and out my bathroom fan !!! lam having major drab ive forced my self to go to work iam up at the crack of dawn i cant sleep and at this prsent time the thug of bi-polar is kicking me ! your holding on to sanity so when you think that your mind got lost! how bout talking to the docs - fizzy
Wow wish I had some answers for you but other than calling the doc I really don’t have any… I haven’t been manic for awhile and I really don’t care to be either… If I feel the least bit out of sorts I’m on the phone calling my doc…
DianaHi Kazabar,
Know exactly where you are coming from. About two weeks ago, i was so manic, my manic was manic. Yes i agree it starts out feeling pretty good, but after a while, i start seeing things that aren’t there, but i think they are moving. usually out of the corner of my eye. before i was diagnosed, i had this problem and really thought i had gone completely bonkers! (well i am lol) at least now i know why i am bonkers! (lol) Any way, my friend, i have learned to develop a sense of humor about myself, and i actually tell people when i am manic so if i say something really off the wall, "please forgive me, i have papers to prove i’m bonkers, so this is to be expected) its amazing how people are able to relax around you when you are able to "laugh at your own crazinesses. however, there is a dangerous side to our mania’s and when we get so high like you sound right now, it is time to talk to your doctor and ask for something to help you sleep. this is what i finally done, but he gave me trazadone, which made me worse. oh! i slept alright, but was a complete dittzo! i couldn’t put my thoughts together so they made sense. when i would get an address i would have to ask several times what it was; i drove too fast, and had a lots of complaints on my speed; now that i’ve slowed down, it is amazing how much better and calmer i feel when i’m driving. (i’m a taxi cab driver). So go to the doc and ask for something to sleep, but if you are sleeping too mucht; or can’t correlate your thoughts so they make sense, you are getting either too much, or just the wrong medication. so be totally be aware of what you are feeling, and keep a open communication with your pdoc. It might even help to take notes on yourself for every day that you are on this med and how it makes you feel.
Thanx all for your replies. It’s now a good while since I sent that post and I am a lot better, in fact I think I now know what was causing the mania. I am pregnant, oh at first I was totally scared but now it seams that the bipolar has gone into hiding (almost) and instead of me worrying about what my head is doing I am looking down at the bump that has appeared in my tummy. I am now almost drug free, as I am scared what the drugs might to do to baby so I am riding this world without the meds. I am taking a little anti-psychotic, which I have tried to stop but I factor that I need it for the mania and that it is no good for baby if I get no sleep and don’t eat, apart from all the other issues like driving crazy, living crazy with a no care attitude. So my partner and I are very happy although I am a little concerned about the fact that I have been so unwell for 6 years and hope like hell that I am through the worst of it because if it comes back (which I am kidding myself to think that it won’t) I am going to need a hell of alot of help. Have any of you had a baby on meds, or even just suffering bipolar… what happened, any advice right now would be good to ease my mind, thanks to all of you for being there, lol Kazbar
Congratulations Kazbar! That’s wonderful news. I’ve often wondered about whether I would be able to have my own children while being on all these different meds. I remember my doc telling me when I first went on my meds, that I would in fact be able to have children, and that I would have several options. He said that no tests have been done to determine the exact effects of prescription antidepressants and similar drugs on babies, but that taken at a low level, some drugs seem make no effect on the bun in the oven. Now, were I to take my full dose of lithium and Wellbutrin, I’m guessing that I would pickle a baby, but knowing that I may be able take a lighter amount of drugs is a great comfort to me.
Take care and keep us posted on the pregnancy!!
-scubagirl
To: katypeterson@hotmail.com> From: bipolar-cpt5374@lists.careplace.com> Subject: Re: [bipolar] MANIA - The Best Diet> Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:25:01 -0400> >
Congrats indeed!!! Haven’t been to the bipolar forum for a while now. But I couldn’t hide it any more. I was VERY low for a time, and now I am getting very,very manic. I see shit out of the corner of my eyes like bip moreorles was talking about, I get so unbelieveabally anxious, paranoid, angry, you name it, - it surges like a flood wall breaking!!! Went to the doc, adjusted my meds. Think I might need a straight jacket soon, and I’m not kidding. I’m so glad you are doing better kazbar68. I wish every happiness to you and yours. I just can really, really, really relate to your first post right now.
~Jali
congrats indeed kazabar thats wonderful news sure you and bambino well be safe - fizzy
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