Mars and Venus Dissect the Spitzer Scandal

Narcissistic personality disorder
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Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity

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The TV Watch
Mars and Venus Dissect the Spitzer Scandal on the TV Talk Shows
By ALESSANDRA STANLEY
Published: March 12, 2008
Correction Appended

Many a man stared at Gov. Eliot Spitzer’s news conference on Monday and thought, “There but for the grace of God go I.” So did a lot of women, only they were looking at the stricken face of his wife, Silda Wall Spitzer.

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And on television, at least, men got the first word.

The news that the Democratic governor of New York was embroiled in a prostitution scandal broke around 2 p.m., and by then opinion shows were dominated by men. Accordingly, there was a lot of talk about a “victimless crime.” On CNN James Carville suggested that Mr. Spitzer’s enemies might have set him up, and argued that Mr. Spitzer need not resign. Tucker Carlson of MSNBC said the whole thing was “nauseating,” but he was referring to the high-handed moralizing at Mr. Spitzer’s expense, not the governor’s ethical lapse.

It wasn’t until Tuesday morning, on shows like “Today” and “The View,” that female commentators could really unload, and they did, mostly on panels with titles like “Why Men Cheat” and filled by psychologists, self-help coaches and anthropologists. The biggest issue was not whether the governor would resign or face criminal charges. It was whether Ms. Wall Spitzer was right to stand by him, and even more urgently, whether all husbands stray, and why. It got testy at times.

“Are you saying the women should feel guilty, like they somehow drove the man to cheat?” a visibly aghast Meredith Vieira of “Today” asked Dr. Laura Schlessinger, a radio host.

Dr. Schlessinger replied, “Yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.”

Dina Matos McGreevey, the estranged wife of James E. McGreevey, who resigned as the governor of New Jersey in 2004 after admitting to an extramarital homosexual affair, has been much in demand these last two days.

On a different “Today” panel on Tuesday, called “Secret Lives: Does Power Equal Promiscuity?,” Ms. Matos McGreevey argued that blaming wives for their husbands’ infidelities was “like blaming a rape victim for being victimized.”

Daytime television does have a way of encouraging women to blame themselves or change themselves to hold on to their men. On yet another “Today” panel, this one labeled “Refresh Your Romance,” an expert advised viewers eager to rekindle their marriages to take erotic dance classes to “unleash the inner vixen.”

In the blur of Internet blogging, 24-hour cable news and DVR on-demand television, it’s easy to lose track of how divided the sexes are on television. It takes a juicy political sex scandal to underscore the difference.

“Morning Joe” is an early MSNBC program with a late-night, locker-room atmosphere: A lead-in to the Spitzer scandal showed David Letterman’s monologue on Monday night. (“Holy cow,” Mr. Letterman said. “We can’t get bin Laden, but we got Spitzer.”) On Tuesday morning Hendrik Hertzberg, a writer for The New Yorker, told the host, Joe Scarborough, that Mr. Spitzer should not be condemned as a hypocrite. “If he had been caught taking from the public till or bilking the government, that would have been hypocritical,” Mr. Hertzberg said. “This is just, this is sad.”

Alan M. Dershowitz, who taught Mr. Spitzer at Harvard Law School, went so far as to blame American Puritanism first. “Big deal, married man goes to prostitute,” Mr. Dershowitz said on MSNBC on Monday. “In Europe this wouldn’t even make the back pages of the newspaper.” (Either Mr. Dershowitz doesn’t travel much or he reads his newspapers back to front.)

Viewers tend to project their own experiences on famous people caught in a crisis, and politicians and television commentators are not immune from the habit. Gov. Jon S. Corzine of New Jersey, who endured much criticism for not wearing a seat belt during a near-fatal crash of his speeding Chevrolet Suburban, also defended Mr. Spitzer, perhaps unconsciously referring to his predicament as “these kinds of personal car crashes.”

And some of the best-known faces on cable television have weathered highly public peccadilloes of their own. Mike Barnicle, on MSNBC, left The Boston Globe in 1998 under charges of plagiarism and suspicion of having fabricated material for a column. The conservative columnist and former government official William J. Bennett, a political analyst for CNN, was embarrassed by revelations about excessive gambling. Bill O’Reilly of Fox News settled a sexual-harassment suit filed by his producer.

The female hosts on “The View” have also had their share of tabloid stories, but most of those scandals followed catfights behind the scenes, not lapses in morality or professional probity. Certainly there were no tears shed for Mr. Spitzer on Tuesday on “The View,” where for once all five women agreed emphatically on almost everything about the scandal.

“Aren’t you sick of men?” Joy Behar, one of the hosts, said. “Viagra is destroying our government.”

This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:

Correction: March 13, 2008
The TV Watch column on Wednesday, about coverage of the Eliot Spitzer scandal, referred incompletely to the departure of Mike Barnicle from The Boston Globe in 1998. In addition to having been accused of plagiarism, he was also suspected of having fabricated material in a column for The Globe. (Mr. Barnicle was cited in the column with other cable television commentators who have weathered their own scandals.)

Question:

What is the typical profile of a homosexual narcissist?

Answer:

I am a heterosexual and thus deprived of an intimate acquaintance with
certain psychological processes, which allegedly are unique to homosexuals.
I find it hard to believe that there are such processes, to begin with.
Research failed to find any substantive difference between the psychological
make-up of a narcissist who happens to have homosexual preferences – and a
heterosexual narcissist.

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Women narcissists

http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq34.html

Narcissists are people who fail to maintain a stable sense of self-worth.
Very often somatic narcissists (narcissistic who use their bodies and their
sexuality to secure Narcissistic Supply) tend to get involved in
extra-marital affairs. The new “conquests” sustain their grandiose fantasies
and their distorted and unrealistic self-image.

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http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq61.html

Question:

Are narcissists mostly hyperactive or hypoactive sexually and to what extent
are they likely to be unfaithful in marriage?

Answer:

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http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq29.html

Narcissists are repulsed and intimidated by intimacy

http://samvak.tripod.com/intimacyabuse.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/journal60.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse14.html

Our sexual behavior expresses not only our psychosexual makeup but also the
entirety of our personality. Sex is the one realm of conduct which involves
the full gamut of emotions, cognitions, socialization, traits, heredity, and
learned and acquired behaviors. By observing one’s sexual predilections and
acts, the trained psychotherapist and diagnostician can learn a lot about
the patient.

Inevitably, the sexuality of patients with personality disorders is thwarted
and stunted. In the Paranoid Personality Disorder, sex is depersonalized and
the sexual partner is dehumanized. The paranoid is besieged by persecutory
delusions and equates intimacy with life-threatening vulnerability, a
“breach in the defenses” as it were. the paranoid uses sex to reassure
himself that he is still in control and to quell is anxiety.

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Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. In other words, they either
generate their Narcissistic Supply by applying their bodies or by applying
their minds.

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Most patients with the Histrionic Personality Disorder are women. This
immediately raises the question: Is this a real mental health disorder or a
culture-bound syndrome which reflects the values of a patriarchal and
misogynistic society? A man with similar traits is bound to be admired as a
“macho” or, at worst, labeled a “womanizer”.

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She shifts uneasily in her seat: “I like to flirt. A little flirting never
hurt nobody is what I say.”

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http://samvak.tripod.com/personalitydisorders52.html

Take care.

Sam