My Town and Anxiety

I want to start this out by being humorous with my anxiety. I live in Houston and this was sent by a friend who knew I was having a rough anxiety day: Hope it makes at least some of you to smile

Rules of living in the Houston area

Rules of Houston, H-Town, 3rd Coast, Bayou City, The Dirty
3rd, or whatever you wanna call it.

  1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is “Hue-stun,“
    not “Ewe-stun”, or “house-tun” Oh yea, the street is pronounced “San Phil-ee-pay,” not” San Phil-eep” ( San Felipe).
    Enunciate, you idiots!

  2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has
    its own version of traffic rules…Hold on and pray. There is no
    such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston.
    We all drive like that.

  3. All directions start with, “Go down to Loop 610”… which has
    no beginning and no end.

  4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through
    traffic… a “Scenic Drive.”

  5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The
    evening rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday’s
    rush hour starts Thursday morning.

  6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
    rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the
    first one off the starting line, count to five when the
    light turns green before going, to avoid getting into any
    cross-traffic’s way.

  7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by
    a native Houstonian.

  8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a
    way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

  9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrases,
    “Oh, we must be in Pasadena!” or “God, I hate Baytown!” or
    "Mmm, smell that Texas City!"

  10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably
    a factory defect.

  11. All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have total
    right-of-way.

  12. The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph.
    Anything less is considered downright sissy. In turn, the minimum speed on Westheimer is at least 45mph.

  13. The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is
    NOT ornamental.

  14. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper
    sticker that says, "Keep honking, I’m reloading."
    In fact, don’t honk at anyone.

  15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph
    in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.

  16. The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.

  17. If it’s 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

  18. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits
    lead to Louisiana.

  19. If you live in Katy and I live on the south side of
    Houston we’ll never hang out.

  20. The best thing about being drunk between 2-5 am is
    Whataburger will serve both breakfast and normal menus.

  21. You are always able to be pulled over by any police vehicle,
    even if you were just given a ticket.

  22. You don’t have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway,
    just follow the ruts in the grass to the feeder like
    everyone else. This is how Houston resident’s notify
    Texas Department of Transportation where exits
    should have been built.

  23. Else-where, they are called frontage roads. Here
    in Houston, they are called FEEDER roads, so don’t
    look stupid when we say “Exit the feeder road and use
    the loop-d-loop”

If you don’t live here, most of this will sound utterly
insane, but to all of us who call this home…nothing
but the truth and this is why I drive on my street only. smile