This is a video I made on Jumpcut. It shows the sights from my roadtrip across Ireland this year. Heavy on sights and light on Narcisissism, so enjoy. Feel free to comment.
Tim
http://www.jumpcut.com/view?id=2B6E76DA69F511DC8EB4000423CEF5F6
I am always amazed when I see your pictures because everything looks so normal and nice. But I know that underneath all the smiles there is a lot of pain, particularly for your partner. Now that I am mostly out of my relationship with my N, I am meeting new people who look just like you do in the video…normal, happy, sincere.
How can I trust? Who is real and who hides beneath a shield of lies? I still don’t know.
Lucia,
The answer is no one — and every one. Think about what you’re lamenting here – that people might look normal on the outside but be complicated and dragging baggage along for the trip. That’s a pretty good description of you, too, Lucia – and all of us. I’m starting to think that all of this has been so complicated and interwoven that maybe with time it will seem…beautiful. When we get above it and see it with a new perspective and fresh eyes. Be hopeful.
Tim
You are wrong. Not all people hide behind lies. There are many of us who share and live decent lives, without trying to manipulate and use others for our own gain. We are out there and when you say that we all hide and lie, you are projecting what you do on a daily basis onto the rest of us. Therein lies the problem and it is what I hear from my N. He always turns it back to me and claims that i am no different than he is.
Of course, now i carry the weight and knowledge about narcissism into other relationships and I guess that can be called “baggage”, but that is something that happened to me that cannot be denied. To claim that anything relating to narcissism and the fact that things are “complicated and interwoven… and beautiful” is a misconception on your part and your way to justify the trail of emotional destruction you leave in your wake. THERE IS NO BEAUTY IN NARCISSISM, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP that is full of lies and deception. Love can be beautiful and sharing without the manipulation and complication. I know this because i have experienced it in my life… and i hope one day to have that again. Without the lies and deception… without having to serve the needs of another all the time, but with thoughtful insight and a shared consideration.
The Narcissist and Psychopath as Criminals
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/5003
The Narcissist is Above the Law
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4983
The Narcissist as Liar and Con-man
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/message/4951
----- Original Message -----
From: “Lucia” npd-cpt6306@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2007 3:22 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] My trip to Ireland with Trudster
How funny.
I’d say how sad, but I’ve already been there with all of you. Now it just all seems…sick. When I saw that Sam had responded to this link, I actually felt my heart sink or leap or something in my chest. I was almost afraid to read. And then? A set of links from Sam, who seems almost to have a computer scanning these boards looking for keywords so that more relevant links might be sent. And what about the links he sent was relevant? The N as con man and criminal? I was trying to bring some humanity to it with the little video. That’s all. I’ve asked no one for anything.
Lucia, I’m sad for you, and I’m sad for my family, too. Every effort I make to establish a presence here and form a theraputic conduit between myself and this board seems to be met with so much cynicism that I almost wonder whos sicker. I’m pretty sure it’s me, Lucia, but god DAMN it lady, the string was meant to be upbeat. I’m a real human being with a family who hopes that I’ll be able to get better and this is one of the only tools I’ve got. Who you smashing when you smash me here? If your N had come here, would you have wanted HIM slashed down every time he touched the knob?
Dear NB, I thank you for sharing and I would hope that you share more! It gives me insight and makes me see from another perspective. It looks like you had a fun trip. Thank you! ~HT
Right. Having failed trying to pretend that “everything is normal and
everyone is actually like me”, the narcissist now resorts to self-pity and
emotional extortion:
How can you hurt this bleeding heart narcissist and “slash” him down? Don’t
you see he sincerely regrets the way he is? He abuses others only because he
can’t help it, not because he wants to! And so on.
Don’t buy into the narcissist’s shticks. These are worn-out routines that
are intended to numb you to the FACT that narcissists - ALL narcissists -
are very very very dangerous predators.
Sam
----- Original Message -----
From: “NarcissistBroken” npd-cpt6306@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2007 5:32 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] My trip to Ireland with Trudster
I read back over the posts written here and I marvel at the different points of view we all have… all relevant to where we are in our lives this moment. I write things here that I never would have thought, let alone written, had I not experienced the things I have during the past 2 years and that is part of who I am now.
Yes, a narcissist is indeed a dangerous predator who hides behind a shield of lies. I know that now. And they look for people like me, mamolie and hope today because we are kind, empathetic and caring people who play by certain rules that are unknown to them. The problem is that we go into the game playing our rules and their rules are completely different, so as we go along, we try to figure out “their” way because we love them. They make us feel alive for some reason… and we want so much to be with them and make them better. We want to take away their pain and angst because it is so palpable and we see so much “good” in them. The “good” is an illusion though, but we don’t see that until it is too late, particularly if we marry and have children with them.
I can say things on this website that I would NEVER say in real life… ie. my comments to NB. In my life i am polite and always careful not to hurt anyone’s feelings, but here i can say the truth… all of us on here could have the moniker of “Broken by Narcissists”, so when Narcissist Broken posts his video, my thought is that he wants supply from us… “Oh, what a lovely video… looks like a great vacation… what fun you must have had… how nice that you took her to ireland…” etc. Well, i for one, do NOT wish to come here, my only safe haven where i can truly be myself, and have to do that. I have been sucked into the world of narcissism and here is where i don’t want to do that. Quite frankly, i don’t want to have to “help” another narcissist to get “better” on this website. This is not the place for a narcissist to get help. Do what most of us have done in order to recover from our encounters with N’s: go into therapy on a weekly basis. If you are already doing that, good for you. Kudos and bravo, because maybe you can get help.
I am moving on and can see the light a little better now and part of that is because of this website and the things all of you share, particularly mamolie. Her insights have assisted me on more than one occasion. My N still lurks, but his presence in my life is waning. I feel stronger now and i think that soon he will be out for good.
I hope that i have not offended anyone. That is not my purpose and if i have, i am sorry. i just want to be truthful. May we all see the light.
lucia
Lucia, I am totally in an agreement with your response to Narcissistbroken yesterday. We are not like our N’s and we don’t live our life to manipulate and control. They can only see life thru their own N eyes and cannot understand real intimate love. Thank you making N’s aware of the truth. Newhope