My Wife and MS


#1

when we first got married about 12 years ago, i must confess, i was confused and not sure of our relationship. i had just left my oldest son’s mother after a ten year relationship and a couple of days later i was introduced to Kateena “my wife” be a mutual friend of ours. We dated one time, we became intimate and because we did not take precautions, she got pregnant. This was not unfortunate, for you see i love my son with all my heart, but at the time i was not sure of anything. I felt like i got trapped and just wanted to make sure he was mine. A lot of nasty things were said between me and her, though she said just me, afterwards. Yet i still promised to take care of my child if he was truly mine, and even thogh she sai she beleived that, she took me to child support. Yes i got upset and more nasty things were said but when i found out through the proceeding that he was mine i lived up to my word and and paid the support faithfully, but i still was not sure about Kateena. You see, she moved in with another man before the child was born and i moved on with my life, but like i said, once i was sure the child was mine i lived up to my obligations. then all of a sudden Kateena started coming around more and more, i confrinted her about the other man, she said he was history and really did not beleive her, but still, once again we became intimate, but i continued to see other people and unfortunately my first son’s mother was one of them. though Kateena knew this she still stuck around, hell, her and my first son’s mother even had a fight over me and beleive me i was not proud of that. they wanted me to choose and as you know i chose Kateena, and though i chose kateena there was a part of me that just still wasn’t sure about her, but beleive me she was an angle compared to my first son’s mother. soon after, not even a year has passed she asked me to marry her , YES SHE ASKED, but like i said iwas still not sure of her, she asked me if i loved her i said true love is strong something that you give undeniably no matter what and i did not know at the time that if i found out something about her i would be so forgiving, but i did say i adore, respect, and would honor you as long as those feelings were reciprocated. Now i know that sounds like love but i just couldn’t get myself to say those words yet. Even then she still wanted to marry me saying, i love you and i know one day you will feel the same and say those words. I was flattered and at the same time i felt, hell, instead of paying child support i would be taking care of my son first hand, plus she was right i could fall in love with her if she keeps trating me as good as she does and saying the right things, and guess what? she did and i fell in love. But soon after we got married she was diagnosed with MS. Now what was crazy was the dictors were telling her that she would feel, because of the disease, as if she wanted to be alone, not love anyone who is real close to her even me. by this time like i said i was in love with her and i felt that sisnce the doctors told her this, this was half the battle, she would not give in to those feelings, look what we have been through. But for some reason, after ten years of marriage has passed, and i would be a fool to say that we did not have our bad times, she says she doesn’t love me anymore, that she actually fell she actually feel out of love with me soon after we got married, I was shocked. i asked her what did i do she says it’s nothing you did, it’s all me i just don’t love you any more, but when i preeded the issue she said it was because of the fact that i did not love her ten years ago and when i finnaly fell in love with her and beleive me it was not long after she fell out of love with me. she has told my biological grandmother that she will leave me after our son has had a few more years with us being together, that she was tired and wanted tolive her life the way she wanted to. to the day she dies if need be. she also said she will not live as long as i. this is not the first time she has told me she doesn’t love me, it’s happened before each time for the same reason but she has stuck around after saying " i know i feel this way but i will try to make this work" and each time she stuck around, though she has done some really heartless things to me. this was the first time she has confronted, no the second time, my grandmother about this. i did not teel her my grandmother told because my grandmother did not want me to, she said to me just be strong, something is wrong with her and you have to be by her side, and i have but it is really taking its toll on my psyche, i’m going crazy and don’t know what to do. this is it in a nutshell, i hope i’m not the problem. She is also giving a fundraiser at a club called “Stepping For A Cure” to raise money for the MS cause i will support her.


#2

Work on what you can, yourself. You need to get strong and healthy. You can not control her, you are right, but you can control your self and your life.