Oprah contacted me

Narcissistic personality disorder
#21

Susie,

If you ever want to know more about Sam’s earlier career I suggest you try to run to ground something called “The Fashanu Report” (I don’t know where to find it right now), and cross reference it with the earlier parts of his CV, specifically those that relate to Nessim Gaon and the Gaon group.

The report was very controversial in it’s conclusions, but the basic hard information is accurate. Any article referring to it gives a sense of where Sam “cut his teeth” in the 80s, so to speak.

GD

#22

Blitzen - If you don’t care, than why don’t you leave me alone?! You don’t know me at all and have no right to judge me or make statements about my purpose for writing a book or being on this board. What have you done to further this cause?

#23

Okay Ella, do you have a cause and if so, what is it, or are you here to be supportive, or are you here trying to make money by selling a book? Which is it Ella? I think the point has already been directed at you that you here selling a book, and promoting Sam because he promotes your book.

So you protected yourself from a lawsuit from your former husband.

The claim is not that you spent that much money on vanity, but rather that you are not honest.

#24

I repeat, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a category in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it is not a “cause”.

However, if your devotion to Sam Vaknin requires you to “praise his holy name” (if only for the sake of reciprocal publicity for your self published book), then I suggest you do it on his own mailing list, here:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Narcissistic_Personality_Disorder/messages where you will find none of the free-thinking challenges to his cynically exploitative nonsense (or yours), that you find so very personally offensive here

GD

#25

PLEASE stop addressing me directly. I have asked you to leave me alone. You don’t know me. What do you mean, the point has been made that I’m here to promote my book. I’m sorry, but I missed this verification of facts. Secondly, what on earth gives you the right to claim I’m not honest. What have I lied about? Again, you do not know me.

Lastly, I think you both need some help. First, you are absolutely obsessed with Sam Vaknin. It’s a rather unhealthy obsession, I must say. Blitzen - you know way too much about this man. You could write his biography! If I were Sam I would be a little concerned I might have a stalker on my hands. Secondly, you seem to get-off on slandering others. You’re loving every minute of this. I am not and refuse to indulge in this back-and-forth banter any more. I actually have a life.

Oh, and one last thing…our “cause” is to give people an outlet to be heard and supported by others who know what it’s like to try to love a narcissist. I just received a private message from someone who states how upset she is that this forum has turned into such a negative place. She said the forum provided her some much needed sanity from the abuse of her narcissist. Unfortunately, you have completely demolished our cause on this site and turned it into nothing but a hate-fest. That is our cause. Do you get it yet and can you please leave us alone so we can get back to our cause and purpose for being here?

#26

OYYYYYYYVAY…I can’t take it anymore…I am with
Mamolie, GOOD BYE FOR NOW…

MAMOLIE, BUP AND HOPE ARE IN A BETTER PLACE…

On Oct 24, 2007, at 8:18 PM, ella wrote:

#27

Ella,

Your arrogance is absolutely staggering.

I have spent nine years (because I wasn’t give much choice) watching Sam Vaknin, often at first hand, con, abuse and bully his way into dominating the available information with a lot of harmful blx he doesn’t even believe himself (In private he makes fun of people like you and calls you “Narcissists”)…and you think I should pretend to believe otherwise…

BECAUSE YOU SAY SO???

BIG DEAL!

You really do come across like a cult member, only a cult member would try to claim that it was an “obsession” to not be gullable and to see enough to spot the fact that Sam is a complete phoney.

Cop yourself on.

GD

#28

If your cause is for people to be heard and supported, than why are you promoting Sam on this board? Why are you selling your book here?

This forum had already become nasty and negative having fallen under the direction of false prophets. The difference the last few days is that the object of nastiness has changed from being the “narcissist” each was involved with to now Sam and you. And the attacks on you two are much nicer, more constructive, directed at your face, not back, and allow you opportunity to respond.

The one who desperately needs professional help is you my dear. I think Blixen already tried to point out to you that NPD is a diagnosis in the DSM-IV, and does represent all the abusers, vampires, bastards, psychopaths, etc. that failed to love you as you wanted.

#29

STOP

thats enough

#30

Phoenix,

I do not think that is for you to decide.

GD

#31

sam will be loving all this attention, and not even a need to paste all his repetitive links. and he will be loving the fact that everyone is in a stir while he sits by and watches while someone else does it for him!

Am not allowed to say “thats enough”, but can say I say " its boring". Or is it not my place to say that?!?!?

nic

#32

Oh no Nick,

You can definately say “it’s boring”, it is, and after 9 years it is a LOT more boring for me than for anyone.

But, unfortunately, a lot of the reason why Sam has managed to exert so much influence over internet support, and do so much damage to real people as a result is through consciously exploiting the complacency inherent in the predictable “ignore him and he will go away” attitude.

As a result, the only people not ignoring Sam are those sucked in (whether through greed or gullability) and the internet is saturated with false information by and in support of him. Often false infomation that should be exposed by the most cursory of checks.

If challenged he points to all this (largely self generated) false information, and the dearth of real information to challenge it, and says:

“LOOK!! I must be a REAL expert…all these years only a handful of nutcases have challenged me” and sucks in a few more vulnerable people, and signs up a few more unscrupulous ones, and harasses and slanders a few more decent people with integrity into silence…

…and the snowball rolls on…over all the genuine people who really care, and all the real information…and the real needs of vulnerable, abused people.

So you see, just because it is boring, it doesn’t always follow that the best approach it to stand back and enable it.

GD

#33

One of the things I do in my work is help teach at-risk teens about bullying, most of whom are trying to navigate life after having experienced some profound traumas in their lives. The cornerstone of the work I do is teaching bystanders its not OK to stand by and watch bullying take place and do nothing. That people who care need to say “stop”.

I invite anyone and everyone on this forum who dont want to see the bullying of other members to continue, to let the bullies know their behaviour is unacceptable.

I’m all for healthy debate. I’m not for personal attacks on people’s looks, intellectual capacities, mental health or anything else. Debate the facts and we all get better informed. Pressure people to follow like lemmings, or they become targets of personal attack, and I have a problem…and I WILL say STOP. It is my place. Whether bullies get the message is another thing, but I wont stand by in silence and let this BS continue.

#34

Phoenix,

That is great you are working with young people on bullying, a big problem these days.

However, that is not the situation with Mr. Varkin. He is not young, he is not unguided, he is not innocent, he in not defenseless. He is an extremely manipulative and dishonest person that requires strong energy to deal with. I agree with Blixen, there are others who have fallen into his trances with the same mindfog of cultists. I think Blixen has pointed out well that what she sees and I myself see, is exploitation occurring.

He hounds every board that comes up on narcissism. He unfortunately controls many of them directly so there is nothing can be said or done there. He takes indirect control over the rest. They all end up imploding.

I think Blixen’s point has been that he has grossly distorted what narcissism is and obstructs construct conversation and sharing on the topic. For that, she was attacked by those under his mindset. I agree, more constructive exchanges would be of value to all.

#35

Ella:

Lastly, I think you both need some help. First, you are absolutely obsessed
with Sam Vaknin. It’s a rather unhealthy obsession, I must say. Blitzen -
you know way too much about this man. You could write his biography! If I
were Sam I would be a little concerned I might have a stalker on my hands.

Sam:

Haven’t you read my previous warnings?

Gaye Dalton (Blitzen,. Susiejo, Cricket Courage, Zeraeph and a zillion other
aliases) is a dangerous psychopath. She has been stalking me and many other
owners and moderators of mental health groups for years. She is verbally
abusive but does not recoil from physical acts of intrusion and violence.
Everybody knows about her in the mental health community. She is completely
off her rocker.

#36

Susiejo,

you missed my point completely.

Its the bullying of OTHER members. It doesnt matter much if they left their partners and painful/chaotic/crazymaking relationships because of Sam or the tide tables, or the advice of their therapist. It matters that they made the right decision for them, that theyre living a healthier happier life.

So bullying them for having made those healthier decisions for what you and Blitzen perceive are the wrong reasons is not for you or anyone else to say.

Survivors are here looking for understanding, support, an echo to their own experiences, finding more and more evidence that theyre not crazy, and theyre doing fine, to just keep moving ahead one step at a time.

When your anti-Sam fervor becomes pressuring survivors to think and believe something different than they find is useful, thats destructive.

I’m not going to argue that point anymore.

Its bullying, plain and simple.