Personality Disorder

When I spent some time in a clinic, they said I had a Personality Disorder. My sons dad, who I was with at the time was absolutely horrified. There had been some bad press about it. To be honest I’m not altogether sure what it means. To me it means that the world I was brought up in required different survivial skills and that although I don’t live in that world anymore, I havent adapted. Would love to hear other people view on ‘Personality Disorders’.

It just reminds me of a sociopath. They make themselves into whoever is acceptable or likeable to a group of people at any given time. It’s like having a mask for every environment you’re in. Many people wear the mask BUT a person with a personality disorder has no REAL personality and don’t even know what THEIR real personality is and can barely remember the lies or stories they tell. That’s what I think it is. It has a very bad connotation to me. I wouldn’t want a friend with Personality Disorder because you never know what you’re getting.

There are so many types - professionals should determine which type(s) you have so that you can find appropriate treatment… here’s some beginning information…

"Information on personality disorders is found below. If you are looking for further information or if you believe you have a disorder, ask your local physician to recommend a professional therapist in your area.


Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.


People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed “loners.”


Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.


A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often aggressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.


Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.


People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.


Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.


Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.


Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.


Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything “right” often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion."

you beat me to it = ) it all depends on what type you have, what your deal is. i have ocpd- i like things neat n tidy n if they are not it drives me (literally) crazy. it has caused some problems at work- people don’t understand why i’m so rigid about the way my stuff is handled or the order in which i must do things. at home people understand and try to work with me- and i try to let things go. a friend told me about his “rule of five”- will it matter five minutes from now? five months? five years? it’s one reason i type in lower case- i want desperately to change it and make it “right”, but it is a way to step out of my box. it’s good for me, cuz it doesn’t really matter.

Guess they figured I was 'avoidant', proberly was much more obviously 'avoidant' back then.  Definately tried to be like whoever I was with in order to be liked and really didnt have any idea who I was, what I liked.  Took year of therapy to figure out my favourite colour is red! lol.  I'm much more true to myself now and have never felt as desparate as I did then, I have my moments but nothing as dark. Thank you so much for the information.  Not Dead, glad yours wasn't the only posting, know what I mean?

Hi,  I have a couple of personality disorders too.. (thou not diagnosed but I've looked at the precise diagnositic critera so know they fit me, I scored more than enough points).  Both borderline personality (which really affects the way I think.. actually Ive had others who didnt know me but who I'd chatted too, comment at times on my black and white thinking as they realised my thinking was abnormal, before that, I thought I hide it well). One thou "outgrows" this to a degree and learns to deal with it so when older, it usually isnt too noticable (thou would of been extremely when I was a teen). 

 I am also a dependant personality.  The dependant personality makes things hard on me as I feel like I need a partner or need someone looking out for me.  Without another I feel so lost and confused and like Im not living for anything.  It causes me to jump relationships and jump into wrong ones who are highly unsuitable. (I will break up with someone and be with another within days.  Ive also tried to kill myself at times when I broke up as I couldnt stand it).   eg In 2006, I got with someone I only knew for a week, I'll call him 2006 boyfriend one.. lasted 5 mths before he left me. Then 3 days later I was with another who I'd met only within 48 hrs before (planning to get married).. I'll call him 2006 boyfriend two, He was abusive (thou he didnt realise it I dont think) so I stayed with him until I tried to kill myself as I couldnt bear the mental abuse and his lack of showing love to me. I then left him and the other one I was before (2006 boyfriend one) that one, half took me back, (as I was so dedicated to him).  He has commitment phobia thou and one with dependant personality can be extremely intense.. so he stopped seeing me again (thou I know he cares for me).  Then I got with one I'd only known a week (2006 boyfriend three).. got badly hurt out of the relationship.. ended up with extensive bruising as I did something to please him but it got me badly physically hurt so I then needed ultrasounds for blood clots.  I left him for that, for him putting my life at risk.. so I then got back with 2006 boyfriend two again and that is where I are now. The relationship is probably unsuitable and Im probably being extremely unrealistic.. but I need to be with him.. I need to be with someone.  I go to peices thou if my partner disapproves of anything Ive done, eg if I displease him at all.  I cant stand that, hence I can be a door mat to the point where I cant bear it if he was being unreasonable, I then feel like im going crazy.

  I dont see these things as a bad thing but it just means others may find me difficult to understand at times (and find me relationship wise, very hard to keep up with lol).. as I dont think or feel like most, I can feel deeper (being so highly sensitive) so things can affect me much more.

~ We all have our own little disorders. The more we learn about them, the more we can learn to help ourselves.  Knowledge is power ... Google is wonderful for researching these things.  I have a tendency to spend too much time researching illnesses and disorders (hubby thinks so anyway), but it has truly helped me to understand myself better and deal with it. ~

timetoheal ~ awesome response!!  ~ hugs all ~

  A lot of times the term “personality disorder” is used when the symptoms don’t fit into one of the psychiatric pigeonholes.  An example of this would be my live-in mom-in-law who is tentatively classified as bipolar schizoeffective.  The murkiness is especially heavy in the schizophrenic/paranoid areas.  I prefer Menninger’s “stages of dysfunction”.  I believe it was one through five (it has been 20+ years since I read his works) with one being a well-adjusted individual and five being where the ego is destroyed through psychosis or suicide.  Another benefit of using Menninger’s terminology is that it doesn’t carry the same baggage that many psychiatric terms do.