Please help if you can

I wrote this below in the My Story section, so far I have met 1 very nice person who thinks I am on the wrong med’s but honestly I have tried so many different ones and none seem to help. My condition is getting worse and I feel that I am losing the battle for simple relief from this never ending nightmare…

Please if anyone has any ideas or suggestions I would be most grateful…

Thanks,
Randy

Hi,

Hello my name is Randy, I am 42 years old and I live in Middletown, CT and I do not have any family in CT, I moved here 3 years ago, as to be closer to my children. I am happily divorced but I miss my children dearly. My ex-wife has played ever single game you can think of with denying me access to my children. I have always paid my child support and provided medical, dental and vision insurance for them. But the only help I get from the Courts is the Judge telling her to stop interfering which lasts all of a month at best.

My problem that is seem to have progressed to an advanced stage of some type of social / avoidant personality disorder I think, along with panic attacks that have been more acute and frequent. I am in fear of losing my job, as during the last two months I seem to get right to the verge of a panic attack and than I actually have to leave work. I cannot continue like this, it is ripping me apart, my life is in a tail spin and I really need help. Now within the last several weeks my condition has worsened to the point where I physically get sick after eating just about anything.

I have lived a very stressful life, my father was an alcoholic who could never hold a job and used to beat my mother and my 2 sisters on a regular basis. My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was 30 years old. She died 2 years later at the age of 32. I was 8 years old at the time. My father 2 months later just got up and left one night. Thank God my older sister knew how to call my aunt and she picked us up. I was than sent to live with my uncle and his family as my cousin was 1 year younger than me. He was relentless in making fun of me that I had no mother or father, which caused me to fight with him on a more than regular basis. After 2 years my aunt and uncle put me in foster care, and on my 16 birthday I counted that I had lived with 9 different families in 17 different houses.

I despised the fact that I was a foster kid, and I became an emancipated minor at 16. At 17 I joined the US Army in DEP (Delayed Entry Program) and worked a full time job while completing High School. I wanted to become a helicopter pilot, but I scored very high on the ASVAB test and was offered a huge bonus to join the Military Intelligence which I did, I have seen things that I am still not allowed to talk about but they pop up in my dreams and nightmares from time to time.

I have been seeing a Psychiatrist and have not been getting any relief with him, I have explained in detail what has been happening to me and I all I get is a different medications, I have been on Diazepam for years now, just 2 weeks ago I was put on Seroquel but I started have heart pains so I stopped taken it, I called his office and explained what was happening and have yet to receive a call back. Also I was given Lithium but after reading the prescription information form I became very nervous and would not take it. Now I am on Pexeva but again I am not seeing any relief with it. My hair is so long right now and I cannot even go into a barber shop to get it cut, it is so sad my friends who live in NY (where I am from) all cannnot believe what has happened to me, I was always the most outgoing and carefree guy you could meet.

I do not drink any alcohol at all, nor do I take any illegal drugs. I do smoke cigarettes and I am trying to quit but have had no luck with lasting more than an hour or so.

I am looking for a friend that can understand what I am going thru. I am a good hearted man who keeps his word and I try each and everyday to do the right thing.

Please help me to overcome this before it overcomes me.

i think that you have post traumatic stress disorder and if you treat that then the other symptoms will become more manageable. go on a ptsd website and look at the criteria and see if it fits. often these other problems surface when ptsd is left untreated. you may be on the wrong medication for what is wrong with you. best of luck. cyndi