My dd and i have been experiencing some anxiety since returning from the hospital from her heart surgery. Mine is aggravated by my feeling like my middle sister hates us really she is the one that refused to make being there for her neice and I during our difficult time.
The fact that she had 4-5 months to scheule being htere for my dd’s surgery says we are of no priority as well as her never scheduling my dd’s recital which is once per year at exactly the same time. Plus she only sees us whn it is conv. for her to be here not at the time we would have like like exactly on a bday not weeks later or for a surgery not a week later.
Here is a recent email conversation that I send here as I am made by her and others to feel like it is my fault/problem. Kinda out of order I think but hope that it can still be followed…
My sister wrote:
Well just so YOU know.
If I was to call in sick tomorrow I would lost my job. I have little time off accumulated right now, and as I have explained REPEATEDLY I have Senior Fitness Testing tomorrow-I have 16 appointments which would have to be cancelled, and my boss is out of town for a work related conference. I wouldnt have a doctors note to give to the VICE PRESIDENT of the company and I have loyalty and responsiblity to my job, myself, my husband and my finances.
If you continue to guilt triip me about it I will mail the presents and forget all of you.
By the way, how many of A’s sisters/brothers/mother will be there? Im guessing none-still the double standard exists…
I know its hard to accept, but I have my own life, my own responsibilities and I have to prioritize. You have to accept that.
Fine I will leave you all alone. I will mail the packages-and that will be the last contact you all will have with me ever. Im not just thinking about myself-but I cant take off work to sit there and hold your hand-thats what your husband is there for. I
Speaking of selfish-you expect everyones life to revolve around YOUR family. THEY ARE NOT MY KIDS. I know it KILLS you that I am HAPPY, but I am. You can not ruin that for me. I am making a good life for myself, and that makes you mad. But Im not willing to sacrfice everything to make you feel better. Dad will be there. Why arent you up M (our other sister) ass about her not being there??
I wrote:
She could die it is not a tooth extraction just leave me be M live wth your self and we will live with our selves just shut up! You are being very piggy even responding knowing what I am going through as usual think of YOU only
In a message dated 6/17/2007 10:02:38 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, My sister writes:
She reacted the way you are having her react. I did not say I was coming tomorrow, and I have never said i was. I dont appreciate being emotionally blackmailed and I WILL not be made to feel guilty over having a job and responsibilities.
I also wrote:
Just to clarify no angry/defensive/negative replies should be sent as I said do what you must we will be fine I just wanted to confirm you knew how I felt about it and how V reacted after your call today
From: ME
Date: Sun, 17 Jun 2007 11:36:13 EDT
V did not realize when you said you were coming up that you did not mean tomorrow and was upset. Just so ya know in my mind even if you had to call in sick tomorrow you should be there for her. She will be awake according to the docs right after surgery.Do what you gotta do we will be fine either way just thought you should know.
I want to get past this and not hurt anymore and not care anymore where my sister is concerned. Any suggestions that do no invole attempt at trusting a shrink again or multiple copays or time spent away fro my kids woudl be appreciated.! Cshells