I found out that my husband has infertile semen 3 weeks ago. We had been trying to conceive for a little over a year before this. We are in the process of doing more tests and waiting for results to see if there is any chance of a biological child together.
Everyone I am close to ( 4 close friends and my sister) is either pregnant or just had a baby, and I am getting ready to turn 30, so I am feeling really anxious and scared. A childfree life does not feel like it will ever be an O.K. option for me, and I don’ t think my husband would choose adoption. I am not sure how he feels about a asperm donor because he does not want to talk about this. He seems to be able to take this 1 day at a time and go about his normal routine almost entirely unaffected. He does not seem to understand how I feel, and being emotionally supportive has never been a strength of his.
I, on the other hand, have been kind of depressed (over not getting pregnanat) since September 2006 and seriously depressed since this Christmas. Since we got the results of the semen analysis, I have been sleeping for about 2 hours in the night and then waking up in a panic and not being able to go back to sleep for several hours or not been able to fall asleep for hours of lying there.
I have no energy, I do not enjoy doing anyhthing, and I feel like nothing at all matters. We even planned a vacation, and I don’t even feel excited about it. I feel hopeless and like nothing will ever be all right or I will never feel happy ever again. I know these are symptoms of depression and insomnia, but I am not sure if I should see a doctor about this or not.
How long do I give myself to grieve? Also, I’ve had a bad experience with an antidepressant when I was a teenager, and I do not believe a therapist can say anything that will make this situation all right.
Has anyone experienced this who can tell me what they did? Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do? I feel like I can not deal with this (these symptoms) anymore.