Hi again everyone! I was wondering if anybody would be willing to explain what it feels like when you are rapid cycling. Are you scared? feel out of control? Do you try to stop but can’t? My hubby is a rapid cycler and I’m trying to understand what might be going on in his head so that I can support him better. My therapist suggested that I “try on his shoes” for a while to get a better perspective.Also is there anything I can do or say to help him cope with the feelings and the aftermath of what he has said or done?I appreciate ANY imput. Thanks you all are the best!
I get very scared, I feel like I am losing my mind so to speak.There is no control when your rapid cycling. When I am in that state everythng is going through my mind at a very rapid pace. You can’t really explain it though. The worries, lack of concern for your own well being, wishing the feeling would just go away, but it won’t. People are different so there triggers and support requirments are going to be different. Try and ask all you supportive questions to him when he seems stable, most of the time your get your answer. Christine
SHAUNI, I WOULD LIKE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS RAPID CYCLING TOO. MY WIFE DOES THIS SOMETIMES AND IT IS SCARY TO ME TO HEAR HER SAY THINGS LIKE: “I FEEL LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL HERE AT HOME AND I JUST WANT TO GET OUT AND BE FREE” OR “I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE AND I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU WANT ME AROUND, WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIVORCE ME AND PUT BOTH OF US OUT OF OUR MISERY” OR STILL ANOTHER ONE “IN THE SIXTEEN YEARS OF OUR MARRIAGE I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPY WITH YOU, YOU HAVE PUT ME THRU SO MUCH I DON’T KNOW WHY I PUT UP WITH YOU.” AND YET SOMETIMES SHE WILL SAY, “I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU PUT UP WITH ME AFTER ALL I’VE PUT YOU THRU” OR “SWEETHEART YOU’VE BEEN SUCH A TRUE BLUE FRIEND TO ME, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU”. SO AS YOU CAN SEE DEPENDING ON HER MOOD, SHE CAN BE VERY NEGATIVE OR JUST THE MOST LOVING PERSON ON EARTH. IF ANYONE HAS SIMILAR SITUATIONS PLEASE SHARE THEM. THANKS, LUVLOSTREGAINED
P.S. ENIGMA, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH IF YOU COULD SHARE SOME OF THOSE EPISODES OF RAPID CYCLING. YOU CAN SEND A PERSONAL MESSAGE…ANY INFO TO HELP ME WITH MY WIFE’S CYCLING WOULD BE VERY HELPFUL…THANKS IN ADVANCE
On occasion my son (25 years) would just walk into the room and yell “I hate you, I hate you all”. Then he would proceed to tell us what the problem of the moment was (usually an OCD issue). And then sooner or later he would get over it and would apologize, (which helped me to recognize the things that really bothered him, as opposed to the things that were the straw that broke the camel’s back. The books call it “the bipolar talking”. Before i learned about this, I used to try to argue him out of it, and I would eventually lose my temper, which escalated his anger. Just before he was put on bipolar meds, he put his hands on me two times and that scared the heck out of me. (He’s 6’1"). Now I learned to remain calm and just try to listen without trying to talk him out of it. I will even leave the room to take a breath if things get too tense. Anyway, it works great, and now we both feel better. Afterwards, you can ask her if she really meant Blah,blah, blah, or was she just upset for the moment. Good luck!
lovelostregained: That’s EXACTLY how it can be!!! The other day at the hospital, he basically told me to **** off , actually he used those exact words and 10 minutes later he was begging me not to leave him, that I’m wonderful etc. That wonderful side of him is so easy to love. The raging side can be very hurtful.
Thankyou again Christine for your open and honest answers.
Also thankyou Robsmom for you suggestions. You’re right argueing back does not worl.
shauni, thanks for acknowledging my question and letting me know that i’m not the only one that goes through these mood swiings. i guess we can say about each other that we know EXACTLY how we feel during these cycling periods. let’s stay in touch and compare notes. thanks again, luvlostregained
That would be great. Message me privately if you ever want to. I understand that sometimes people need to vent.Maybe we can help each other out, as well as our spouses THANKS AGAIN!
Hi all concerned re rapid cycling... ive learned that where ever i go when 'cycling' is a kind of alternate reality. I see everyone as agaisnt me .. deservedly... and i simply feel lioke im falling a part at great spweed. i want to end it all immediately...suicidal thoughts and self hate pound in my head. I think it would help to ask you cycling partner to write a list of positive things about her life and her feeling toward you when she is calm. then she can look at them and remind herself that its the demon bipolar that she hates not you!!!
Hope it helps?
SHAH, THANK YOU I WILL ASK MY WIFE TO WRITE DOWN WHAT SHE FEELS ABOUT ME WHEN SHE IS CALM. TODAY IN FACT SHE SEEMS TO BE PRETTY CALM. SHE HAS TO GO TO WORK FOR ABOUT 4 OR 5 HRS. EVEN THOUGH SHE DID NOT FEEL LIKE IT. SHE HAS TO FORCE HERSELF TO GO. I NEVER KNOW IN WHAT KIND OF MOOD SHE WILL COME BACK IN. BUT I LIKE YOUR SUGGESTION. AND BY THE WAY SINCE YOU WERE SO GENEROUS WITH THAT PIECE OF ADVISE AND ALSO MENTIONED HOW YOU FEEL AT TIMES WHEN YOU DO GO THROUGH A CYCLE, COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME OR US MORE ABOUT YOUR EXPERINCES WHEN YOU GO THROUGH EITHER MANIC OR DEPRESSIVE STATES…ONLY IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO…EITHER WAY THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR THOUGHTS. LUVLOSTREGAINED
Yes thank you Shah. What you said makes a lot of sence. I’m begining to realize that a lot of his rage comes from poor self esteem and a lot of insecurity. Like the other night when he once again started accuseing me of having an affair during his stay in the hospital. He wouldn’t listen and I realized that defending myself was pointless. Even though he was very angry with me and I was a bit nervous, I decided to take a chance and hug him, kiss him on the neck and whisper "Why would I need anyone else when I have everything I want right here with you?"He felt like crap for yelling at me, but it definately calmed him down.I know that he fears that one day I will wake up and see him for how he sees himself. I think sometimes he tries to “beat me to the punch” and hurts me because he’s convinced that one day I’ll hurt him (if that makes any sence) I think writing about or talking about or reminding him about his positive attributes is a wonderful idea.Thank you so much again!
I read the whole conversation and don’t know what to think. I used to cycle about every week; I was able to stay in one mood for a couple days to a week. Now a days, though, I am switching moods everyday, if not a few times a day. Am I rapid cycling? In my research that I’ve done, looking at the different types of Bipolar, I and II and such, I can’t figure out what I am! I get most of those feelings, the ones of hopelessness, lack of self esteem, everyone is against me. I would really like to learn more about rapid cycling as many people here do. I also take it out on my girlfriend, which hurts her greatly and in the end me too.
Well-I get pissed, very pissed and want to vent and then when I vent I feel awful and want to die. I go from manically cleaning the whole house to trying to sit and getting frustrated with sitting because it bores me. I lash out at my husband because he can sit there and let things get dirty around him and just not care about it. I don't sleep well, lots of tossing and turning and crazy dreams that freak me out. Mostly I am manic and angry and I can't handle things going on around me. I get mad if I think I am being ignored or my time is being wasted and then I will get mad if I think I am not good enough. I have been known to vent on my husband just to pick a fight almost to have something to justify being so mad. I am not dangerous to others (thank god) but I am a danger to myself, very self destructive.