Re: The Narcissist and His World ONLINE EXHIBITION

Narcissistic personality disorder
#1

TM,

Though you wrote to me off-list, I am responding onlist, as it may be of
interest to others:

The victim is notable by her ABSENCE - despite her PRESENCE in some photos.
The narcissist looms large as a disruptive, allpervasive, menacing, and
destructive presence. He renders everything around him a wasteland.

Sam

PS:

I invented the term “narcissistic abuse” in 1997. I was the first to
identify abusers as narcissists and the first ever to write about it. I also
set up the first support group for victims of narcissists (Narcissism
Revisited List on listbot). So, I really don’t need to be lectured by
newbies on what is narcissistic abuse and who are its victims.

#2

So abusive behavior is not under the the American Psychological Association’s definition of narcissistic personality disorder. Rather it is your redefinition of the problem. At least this is a moment of honesty Sam.

#3

Oh SAM!!

Please get more pictures taken IMMEDIATELY…

I want to see how much your nose has grown since THAT whopping great fib.

“Narcissistic abuse” was a term suggested by me (in my ignorance) in early 2001 to describe a certain type of complex abuse in the hope that you could be diverted from trying to build a toxic, online cult (among other perfidies), into a half worthwhile agenda as long as the word “Narcissist” was involved (Now that was a very arrogant and misguided idea on my part, I admit, but it was still what happened, and the first you ever heard of the term). I really was naive enough to think along the lines of “How much harm can he actually DO highlighting and publicising, subtle, complex emotional abuse?”…THAT was probably “psychotic” thinking on my part.

It was actually first used (independently of me) by Ann Bradley as a domain name in April 2002, and finally adopted, by you, as a domain name in February 2003.

I still HAVE some of your “sympathy for the poor little devil because I am not even having fun being an incurably vampiric predator” (an opposing position, just as distorted and damaging as the current one) posts from Listbot somewhere if I have a really GOOD dig…
GD

#4

Susiejo, again I have to compassionately consider your considerable
intellectual limitations when I respond. It is becoming tiring and boring
but, like in a family, we have to be patient with the retarded members.

Still, let us try, just you and I:

The American Psychological Association has no “definition” of Narcissistic
Personality Disorder. It has a set of criteria. If 5 of these criteria are
met, an individual should be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality
Disorder. I have no doubt that you have never set eyes on the DSM which is
published by the American Psychological Association - but you should give it
a try before you make yourself look even more nescient than you already
appear to be. Look up “nescient” in the dictionary. It is under the letter N
(after M and before O).

I never said that abuse is part of the definition of the Narcissistic
Personality Disorder.

I said that all narcissists are abusive.

The sentence:

All narcissists are abusers

Is NOT the same as the sentence:

Abuse is part of the definition of narcissism.

Still, having said that …

5 of the 9 criteria for diagnosing NPD describe abusive behavior without
actually using the word “abuse”. For instance: one of the criteria talks
about “interpersonally exploitative” behavior. Exploiting someone is
abusive. It is abuse. Narcissists who exploit people are abusers.

I have no hope that you will get it. No matter how dumbed-down my responses,
they are still way above your bobbing head and beyond your comprehension. It
is sad - but we must keep trying, Susiejo, we must keep trying!

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “susiejo” npd-cpt6538@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, October 28, 2007 7:40 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Re: The Narcissist and His World ONLINE EXHIBITION

#5

“Blitzen”/“Susiejo” (Gaye Dalton):

“It (the term “narcissistic abuse”) was actually first used (independently
of me) by Ann Bradley as a domain name in April 2002, and finally adopted,
by you, as a domain name in February 2003.”

Sam:

My narcissistic abuse Yahoo groups list was established in July 2001:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

Ann Bradley copied the phrase from me, not the other way around.

The phrase “narcissistic abuse” appears in the first edition of my book in
1999 and on my Geocities Website in 1997.

Sorry to have exposed you as a bumbling liar. Better luck next time.

#6

Sam,

You do not KNOW “all Narcissists”…but I bet the APA (who devised the NPD category) know more of them than you do, and they do not seem committed enough to the idea of “all Narcissists are abusive” to include it in the formal criteria for the diagnostic category.

The person saying “all narcissists are abusers” is you…

…and who are you Sam?

I’ll tell you. You are nobody at all.

GD

#7

You admitted that only a few months ago you knew nothing about NPD. It is
amazing how far you have come (presumably by reading texts).

Let me help you along.

Abuse is a RANGE of behaviors. It cannot be included as a SINGLE criterion.
It is to be found nowhere in the DSM.

BUT

5 of the 9 criteria for NPD describe TYPES of ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR.

For instance - one of the criteria for NPD says:

(To be diagnosed with NPD the patient must be) “interpersonally
EXPLOITATIVE.”

Exploiting others is ABUSIVE. It is an integral and important part of ABUSE.

I know it hurts, but narcissists are abusers. ALL narcissists are abusers,
including you.

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “blitzen” npd-cpt6538@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, October 28, 2007 8:05 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Re: The Narcissist and His World ONLINE EXHIBITION

#8

I actually forgot you took my suggestion (made before Easter 2001) on board, so soon, on Yahoo, I just checked “nameboy” for the dates of the domains.

No matter…either way, it HAS to be a dumbest suggestion I ever made, because LOOK at the toxic mess you turned it into?

The phrase “narcissistic abuse” appears in the first edition of my book in
1999 and on my Geocities Website in 1997.

Prove it…and by that I mean prove that it existed as a formal term, not just a chance combination of adjective and noun.

(You can use web archive)

GD

PS You have now addressed me directly TWICE today…keep THIS up, and people will start to talk…particularly since I finally confessed to being Steve
xx

#9

THREE TIMES TODAY…

And all you needed was to be reassured that I am “Steve”…

Well I guess that is “The Narcissist” out of the closet now???

I don’t claim to have great knowledge of NPD, I just claim that the APA do…

(As well as Freud, Karen Horney, Kernberg and Kohut, except none of them seem to know anything about most of the statements you attribute to them, curious that?)

My “specialist knowledge” is more in the area of your capacity for calculated duplicity, and interpreting your constant use of recognised propaganda techniques to monopolise, control and distort several psychology and abuse topics on a global scale for your own profit, prurient satisfaction and entertainment over the past 9 years…

But I admit, until a year ago, even I assumed you had stuck a LITTLE closer to the facts than you have.

GD

#10

Nah, today is a special day. Lidija and I moved into this fabulous new
apartment and went on a shopping spree, a journalist from O Magazine
contacted me, I had dinner with my old pal the Prime Minister, Caryl Wyatt’s
book arrived with me on the cover, a copy of the Sunday Times article as
well, and I am in an expansive and generous mood. These are the attention
crumbs I throw your way, the ones you begged for a few months ago, remember?

Cherish them while they last. Tomorrow I will resume my posture of ignoring
your ignorant lunacy. Erotomaniac stalkers are best ignored - read these:

How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse18.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse15.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abuse16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html

http://samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html

(laughing)

----- Original Message -----
From: “blitzen” npd-cpt6538@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, October 28, 2007 8:21 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Re: The Narcissist and His World ONLINE EXHIBITION

#11

Rather stupid and immature to get in arguing semantics, but then by your definition of narcissist, you are immature. 5 of 9 specific criteria would represent their definition of NPD. Only one of those criteria could be considered abusive, though not necessarily. That one criteria of being exploitive is not necessary to meet the diagnosis. Therefore, your absolute statement is not true.

#12

No, my dear Susiejo, of the 9 criteria, 7 describe abusive behavior, not 1.

Slowly does it. Let it sink in. Good. I really appreciate your efforts. I
know how tough it must be for you. So much information to absorb. So
confusing. But I am here to help you, worry not. Even people like you can
learn, given time, effort, and loving dedication by a tutor.

Now:

The criteria should be read together with the TEXT (on pages 713-717 of the
DSM).

Do you have a copy of the DSM at home?

NO?

(shocked)

----- Original Message -----
From: “susiejo” npd-cpt6538@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Sunday, October 28, 2007 8:53 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Re: The Narcissist and His World ONLINE EXHIBITION

#13

 

I notice you haven't managed to find any proof of your alleged 1997 "coining of the phrase" Narcissistic Abuse...

So I think we can safely drop it in the "balkan balderdash" file?

Along with about 20 other phrases you claim to have "coined", until subjected to closer scrutiny...

GD

 

#14

No Sam,

While I think it is really tacky to show favoritism to my own sockpuppets, and usually try to avoid it. I am afraid I am going to have to agree with Susie on this.

Incidentally, do YOU have a copy of the DSM IV TR? The book, NOT the movie please.

GD

#15

Mr. Varkin - you are a pathetic joke,

You have nothing to teach me or anyone else about narcissism, life, nor the DSM. Your head is stuck so far up “there” that stuff that comes out of your mouth should be coming out the other place. That is about all you offer out on these boards to people in hurt and distress who think they have found a savior from an abuser who is really you, by virtue of being a narcissist, another abuser.

Even your own advice and article on how to get rid of a narcissist does not work even on you. You are full of just words - fat mouth - opinions worth nothing.

#16

Don’t let him get to you Susiejo…

He is only an ould blx face to face…

It just the damage he lives by doing that is significant, not him.

That’s probably why he does it, sacrificing real people, as required, to have a sense of significance he isn’t capable of earning legitimately.

I have tried everything and squeezed every last drop of influence I have had over him twice, over the years, to deflect and divert him into just going away and doing something else less harmful, writing novels, running a brothel - WHATEVER.

But no…having the power to f*ck with real people’s heads to his rotten little heart’s content just means too much to him.

And people like Sam NEED to know that there are a few people like me, and like you, who see clean through them, and know what they are really up to as it happens, so that they can grin and wave every so often as if to say “Look at me Mummy, I am BEING EVIL”.

It’s the closest they ever come to feeling like a REAL man.

Sadly, those sort of neat platitudes don’t undo any of the harm they cause.

I only wish something would.

GD

#17

Blixen, even his own posts on how to get rid of a narcissist do not work on getting rid of him. He is like a nat.

#18

Who are you telling Susiejo?

Just like any other conman he knows exactly how to play on people’s weaknesses and the pieces of himself he finds in others, like vanity, greed, prejudice, selfishness and denial…

And nobody is perfect…we ALL have a little piece of “Sam Vaknin” somewhere inside us that he can play on, if he can only find it.

I know a real life shrink…well qualified, but maybe a bit “outside the box” and “new agey” for me, who refers to Sam Vaknin as simply “a virus”.

Such flattery…

:o)

GD

#19

Garnish, sure. Sorry. I was very excited by your vocalbulary.

Sam

----- Original Message -----
From: “mercenary” npd-cpt6538@lists.careplace.com
To: palma@unet.com.mk
Sent: Thursday, November 01, 2007 9:12 PM
Subject: Re: [npd] Re: The Narcissist and His World ONLINE EXHIBITION

#20

I half expected you to have written “confabulous”

samvaknin npd-cpt6538@lists.careplace.com wrote:Lidija and I moved into this fabulous new apartment

Rene

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