Some news about my N

Narcissistic personality disorder
#1

Hi everyone,

I have been so busy with my new job that I haven’t had time to post or respond until now.

My job is going well, but it is a managerial position and I supervise over 50 (yikes!) people, which means my days are filled with problems to solve. It’s been crazy because I am so new at this, but all is good and I enjoy what I am doing. It’s giving me a new lease on life, so to speak.

As for my personal life, my N still calls me daily to chat, but our dates are few and far between and that is just fine with me. I decided to go online about a month ago and recently met someone to whom I feel very attracted, which is unusual for me. Usually I don’t care too much for anyone.

Anyway, we have had 3 dates in the last week and each one was fun. He is easy to talk to and seems genuinely nice. But here’s the caveat: i find that I don’t believe him when he says things. I am looking for the lies and thinking that he is just saying anything to pull me in. I never used to feel that way when i was dating. Now i don’t trust, even though he seems really nice. The difference is that I don’t have that fear in my gut that i had with my N at the beginning. I knew that he would not be good for me, yet i forged ahead anyway, against my better judgment.

i am trying not to be cynical, but it is hard… and i want to give this new person a chance. SO… i decided to go one day at a time and watch very closely to see if things are aligned. At the first hint of narcissism, I will leave.

#2

Congrats! I love it! New job and New Men! And you are N prepared!

I say assume he is not and assume the best and enjoy it … until you see or feel a sign and then start looking. Even a sign could mean just being a boy.

HAPPY FOR YOU! Cheers to a new chapter in your life and a positive one!

#3

I am so happy for you. It is nice to hear that a person can move on and be happy after all the chaos. Looks like life is giving you lots of positive events and I hope you can relax and enjoy. Good Luck to you.

#4

Thanks for the kind words of support. I appreciate them very much. As for feeling “happy”, i don’t know if I can say I feel that way completely yet. My N is still in my life, albeit in a periphery role by his doing. I am reluctant to cut him completely off because I know that usually makes him turn on the charm and pull me back in, so I am still staying available for phone calls. All of this maneuvering on my part is still exhausting me, but i don’t know what else to do. I feel like i am still somewhat “shell shocked”, perhaps a bit like a soldier returning from the war zone to regular society. How do you just fit back in?

As for the job and the new guy… yes those things are good, so I try to just focus on that and let the other go.

lucia

#5

Lucia you don’t just fit back in. With each experience we change and grow. For better or for worse. You take one day at a time just like you said. No need to rush, take your time and enjoy the dating process.