hello to anyone out there my names fizzy iam sending out another flare to who knows where my meds have been jumped up and iam feeling in a haze like the fog lights are on but no fog! as i wrote before and many thanks for the replys i got ive go the emotional flu that comes with my bi-polar and aint no flu like a bi-polar flu!!! every time i go on the live chat no ones there, anyone really out there or is it just the seagulls keeping me company!
Hi fizzy and anyone else out there. Sorry to hear you aint feeling too good, keep up the fight, dig deep down inside and find yourself, you will, and whilst there is the fog, just go with it. I had a major manic episode on Friday night, my partner hid my car keys as he knew something was up. He went to bed, me on the other hand stayed up on the computer and listening to music until 2.30 when I decided it was time to take a drive to see a friend on the other side of town. I woke my partner and he just lost it, and so did i, screaming at his face 2 inches away, until it got violent, and he pushed me down the hallway and threw my keys at me. So off I went 120kmh all the way in a 60 zone and met up with my crazy friend. Smoked pot until my head popped and finally decided to come home the next day. I had no sleep for 24 hours and I was a basket case. Anyway he came home from work, we talked it out, i tried to explain that it was a manic attack, and quite frankly it scared me too. Feeling a little lost now, scared, not fitting in. Anyway, i’ll say cheerio, hi to all, lol Kaza
hiya kaza thanks for the message and hey you really did go on one manic spree, dont be lost and lonely and scared otherwise it really will be the seagulls and me!! bi-polar can give a good kicking and expect the person to lie down either way. even when you feel alone etc you can always message and guess who will ansewr you yep me! so there you take care be safe
fizzy
Hi Fizzy,
So sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. I really don’t know what to say, except that you should try to be kind to yourself and be patient and reach out to people as much as you can so that you will know there are people out there who care about you. I know there are a lot of miserable times to go through, but there are good times too. Focus on the next good time. I’m always keeping up with you on Careplace and am happy to receive your hugs. Just know that i care about you and I’m with you. Robsmom
thanks robsmom very kind words so ive got people and seagulls keeping me company just had a spell of crying i hate it just trying to watch the tv and tears go down my face blasted flu!!! not many people i talk about my illness with accept when iam on this website or go to a self help group but there are times they just compare whos got the worst section under the mental health act and whos shrink is the pits!!! tis all fun and games ? anyway i shall look out over my boat and know somewhere over the rainbow two people have replied -fizzy
Hi all, thanx for your message fizzy, hope things have brightened in your world, lovelostregained was positive and as he said we are all here for you at careplace. Me on the otherhand am a little worried about my state of mind. I didn’t sleep for 48 hours and since then have had very little shut eye. Seem to be manic. Don’t really know how to handle it, I just want to shut down as I the world is not going fast enough for me at the moment and my brain is off, well off. And after my severe manic episode on Friday I am a little scared as to what’s coming next. That’s all for me, love to you all, Kaza
hi fizzy, i saw your flare and as usual I hope you are fine. please don’t give up…as you can see from your responses you are a valued member and friend here at careplace.
As kazbar mentioned, dig deep inside yourself and find yourself… you are there…just probably having an episode.
you are doing the right thing when you flare us and I hope others will see your flares too, because these days I am spending less time on the computer. For the time being please take care and you know that we care much about you…luvlostregained
p.s. thank you kazbar and others who replied to our friend here at careplace.
fizzy1,
I hope you are having a better time now. I SO know what you are going through. Just keep in mind … nothing’s constant but CHANGE. Hang in there and know you are cared about by folks who can truly relate. Big hugs for a happy new week… 
thanks to you all for your messages least its not just me and the seagulls out here, and there is somewhere over the rainbow iam hanging around coz ive no where esle to float to yet doll drums is where i am, had another blood test this morning trying to find the right levels of lithuim the search continues i either be a battery or a water bottle !!! least you people know where iam floating, i feel as if my head is gonna pop! thanks agian and no one should be alone so please keep on messaging love fizzy 
Hi Fizzy, I don’t think I’ve responded to any of the forums, but I felt compelled to write to you. I have a form of bi-polar disorder that is called atypical, which means that I basically suffer the entire gamut of bi-polar mood swings in the matter of a day, rather than weeks or months. I just wanted to let you know that I have had many down days in the past when the meds were not working and I know that there will be more on those off days. That feeling is truly the pit of hell, in my opinnion. To survive those days I tell myself that it will pass and that when the meds DO work, things will get a lot better. It sounds cliched, I know, but I think an important part to our disorder is to find a way to coach ourselves through the bad times. I am now on a combination of lithium and wellbutrin. It’s not perfect, but I feel so much better, most of the time. I actually experience joy (and no longer just in the manic sense) and have learned to appreciate the small things, stuff that i used to take for granted. Lithium has been a miracle drug for me. I know that it doesn’t work for everyone, but I feel blessed to have found some sort of balance. Someone in the forum described being bi-polar as living in a fog, and I think that is very acurate. I don’t expect the fog to ever go away for me, but I feel well enough to get by. I really do wish you the best and please continue to write here when you feel the need to connect. I don’t know if this helped any, but I think that you have helped a few of us here to express ourselves too. Hang in there!
thanks scubagirl appreciate your message you hang in there also i do try and figure out several ways of managing especially when iam working which can be theraputic as well as tiresome, and as you say apprecaite the small things, iam still in my fog and the lights are still beaming even if there no one home!!! hopefully my meds dose will be able to take time and settle without being moved up agian ! and it aint just me out here - take care and be safe - fizzy
Fizzy, that is a really tough time. I used to be on depakote, which made me fat and lose my hair. I slept all the time and was cranky to my friends and boyfriend. I felt really hopeless when I finally realized that the meds weren’t working. I was in a deep funk for a few months until the Doc put me on lithium. That was like someone turning on a lightswitch. It took a while to feel how I do now; it was a gradual improvement. Now I find that I am dealing with other stuff. If I get confused or freaked out about something, I always wonder what part of me that reaction is coming from. Am I freaking out b/c something is legitamately wrong or unfair? Or am I freaking out b/c I am bi-polar and unbalanced? I’ve found that I have a hard time trusting myself and following my instincts, always afraid that they are due to the disorder. Oh, well, if that is the worst thing that I have to deal with, I will be thankful. It is really great to hear everyone elses take on this disorder. There is no one in my life right now who is bi-polar, so I feel better reading these posts. Thanks everyone!
Oh I just remembered on thing that used to make me feel better about the depression. As I said, I don’t know anyone who suffers from this. So, I would read online about all the famous writers, artists, actors etc. who are bi-polar. Obviously some of these people didn’t live a very happy life, but I look at the others who from the surface seem to have their life together, and I see that I could do that with my life. Knowing that others suffer from this and manage to live happy, productive lives is what get’s me through the really, really crappy days.
Hi Fizzy!
I’m still thinking of you. You just seem to be the kind of person people care about. I hope you are feeling at least a touch better. My son has been on lamictal for 2 and a half years and his overall mood has improved, but it wasn’t until he went on Zoloft (6 weeks ago) that we saw a major change for the better. So I hope your meds come together for you and you start feeling better. Best wishes!!
Hi Fizzy… just a short note to let you know I have woken today hoping that you are in a better space. Just to let you know that I am thinking of you, lol Kaza
thanks scuba girl for your message its comforting to know iam not alone in my boat glancing at the rainbow and tears in my eyes! iam on lithuim as well its just a miltary excerise as to how much of the lithium army should be deployed against this sometime thug bi-polar!!!
hello world ? fizzy here as iam floating in the fog ive had my blood test results back and iam now offically toxic with lithium pity just wondering when i feel any better oh well floating off now seagulls are following me and ive lost the rainbow !!!
Howdy fizzy… Well at least you know now why the fog, good old lithium toxicity, does it to the best of us. So are you off it or just cut down. hope you work out your meds soon, those seagulls must be driving you nuts! Me, oh well, spent the day in bed, not bothered really, just another bad bipolar day, one of the ones where all the bad comes into your head and there just is no good, so how can you think poisitively when the stars are telling you otherwise, no-one seams to be able to answer that one… Take care of you, Kazbar
thanks scubagirl, iam trying to hang on just been for my weekly blood test and the nurses bless em trying to be chatty with me, then having the pleasure of my ugly mug sitting there oh well, then bumping in to my shrink dear me, iam sounding very self pitying, this bi-polar is trying to mug me again the brut ! and my flare has hit another seagull again poor bird it seems ok though, anyway still foggy here and the meds haze seems to swapping shifts with the fog! - fizzy 1
Hi Fizzy, sounds like you have had an interesting morning. Good old Bipolar grabbing hold hey, fight it off girl, get out that baseball bat and hit it as hard as you can. Glad the seagull is ok, put the fog lights on and find that part of you deep down inside that will pull you through. We are all here for you. Sorry if I haven’t been of much help, unfortunately the Bipolar bugg has hold of me too at the moment so I am not as insightful as I could be. lol Kazbar